Monthly Archives: March 2013

Standard

Posted by

Posted on

03/26/2013

Posted under

Devotional Diva

Comments

Leave a comment

An Introvert Living In An Extrovert World

Did I tell you all I’m a monthly contributor at Devotional Diva? Because I am. In fact, I have my own page there. Which is pretty stinkin’ cool if I do say so myself.

What I really like about writing for Renee is that it challenges me. A lot.

Like, Renee makes me write things I would never write on my own. She’s all like, “Here’s the topic,” and I’m left wondering, “Why did it have to be that?”

March is all about living together and, well, I’ve never been really good at that. Contrary to popular belief, I’m not a people person. But the full story is being featured on Devotional Diva today and you should totally check it out.

Standard

Posted by

Posted on

03/22/2013

Posted under

Getting Honest

Comments

3 Comments

Dating Isn’t the Issue; Waiting Is.

I knew when I wrote Beyond Waiting that it was going to brand me. Still I can’t help but sigh when I get certain feedback from people who hear I’ve written a book.

First, there are the people who get it all wrong and congratulate me on my commitment to celibacy. (Um, no.)

Then there are the people who think I should check out this story about some girls who are “living out my message,” and the next thing I know, I’m looking at the pictures of this t-shirt boasting the hashtag: #IWillWait. (If you know anything about Beyond Waiting,  you should understand why that slogan is a problem. Hello, we’re beyond waiting here.)

Then there are the people who tell me I should connect with so-and-so because we have “the same heartbeat.”

And that’s about the time I just want to shout, “You have no idea what my heartbeat is!”

Because most people don’t assume I had no desire to write Beyond Waiting.  Most people don’t understand that I never wanted to brand myself as the singleness guru.

So let’s get something straight, please, so I don’t have to smile and nod through all the singleness talks that everyone assumes I’m oh so interested in.

I don’t agree with all the relationship-rambling, purity-pushing, singleness storytellers out there. I didn’t write Beyond Waiting  because I wanted to join the bandwagon; I wrote it because I thought a vital piece of the story wasn’t being told. It felt to me like so many people were getting caught up in the so-called “rules” of dating that they were overlooking the problem altogether.

Dating isn’t the issue; waiting is.

The problem is that we’ve got our girls so wrapped up in the “Your Prince Will Come” mentality that they can’t see that there is more to life than happily ever after. The problem is that we’ve become so wrapped up in daydreams that we’ve forgotten to live the adventure that is waiting for us here and now—Prince Charming-less.

I don’t consider myself an expert on relationships. In fact, if you’re looking for someone who can speak from personal experience, I’m the last person you want to consult on that subject. That’s why I didn’t write Beyond Waiting  from the perspective that focuses on the someday guy.

Beyond Waiting  isn’t about relationships at all. It’s about you. And living your life now. And not waiting for someone to “complete you.”

And yeah, I’ve got opinions about dating and relationships, but they’re not the ones you’ll hear at those Christian conferences that talk about how true love waits. Mostly because they’re my own. Because I don’t believe there’s a formula to relationships so I’m not going to be the one to say you’re doing it wrong.

It’s not my job to convict you. It’s not my job to believe I know better than you.

But it is my job to encourage you to live each and every moment of your life. Because that’s how I would want you to encourage me.

Life is short. Each moment is a gift. The seconds are ticking away…
And no matter what our relationship status is, we’ve got to embrace them.

Standard

Posted by

Posted on

03/18/2013

Posted under

Live the Journey

Comments

2 Comments

Your Gift to the World

Every single one of us was born with an innate desire to leave a mark on the world. Like footprints stamped in concrete or initials carved into trees, we need a way of saying to the world, “I was here.”

But what do those things tell us about the person who left them behind? Very little, actually.

The other night, I watched Lincoln for the first time and I couldn’t help wondering, as Daniel Day-Lewis filled the screen, “Is that what Lincoln was really like?”  How much of that story was fiction and how much was fact? I’m willing to bet the director made most of it up. Why?

Because as famous as Abraham Lincoln was, we have no way of truly knowing him. We have the written accounts of what he said or how others perceived him, but while that gives us a glimpse into his life, it doesn’t tell us the heart and soul of him. It doesn’t tell us who Abraham Lincoln really was.

Here’s my rather morbid confession: I. Love. Graveyards.

I love wandering through them in my spare time and considering each headstone—the final mark each person left on the world. It doesn’t tell us much. Just a name and two dates. Just a single slab a granite that says, “Yes, I was here.”

But when I walk through cemeteries, I ask other questions. What did this person look like? What were her dreams? And did she ever succeed in bringing those dreams to life? To me, each headstone marks a story known only to those who knew the person and knew them well.

And I realize that in the grand scope of things—when you consider how many others have lived and died and given their all in this world—you and I will only touch a mere handful of lives. That may sound frightfully discouraging until you realize one, important fact.

It’s not about the number of people we touch, but how deeply we touch them.

I think sometimes we’re so concerned with trying to touch the whole world that we run frantically about, brushing elbows with hundreds of strangers. “There,”  we think. “Now I’ve touched them.”  But if we want to be truthful, we must realize that those people at the supermarket are going to forget our faces the moment we pass from view.

You have been given a precious few lives to impact on this earth. And if you do it right, they will carry your legacy on to future generations. And maybe somewhere along the line they will have forgotten your name and face, but someone will know your heartbeat. And perhaps long after you’re gone, someone else will have a heart that beats to that same rhythm.

And you will have touched the world, my friend.

That heartbeat is your gift to the world.

touching the world

Standard

Posted by

Posted on

03/11/2013

Posted under

Live the Journey

Comments

5 Comments

Learning to Share Joy

While reading Han’s Christian Andersen’s The Old Street Lamp, I stumbled across this quote: “Joy that we cannot share with others is only half enjoyed.”

Perhaps the reason it jumped out at me is because I’ve been focusing on community and the importance of sharing our lives with others and I just forced out the most difficult post for Devotional Diva on living together (which you’ll be able to read in a couple of weeks).

And there are those words. Mocking me. Haunting me.

“Joy that we cannot share with others is only half enjoyed.”

I once had a co-worker ask me, “Don’t you get excited about anything?”

My initial thought was, “Well, of course I get excited.” And I do. On the inside. But it takes a pretty big event to get me jumping up and down.

Maybe I don’t share joy very well. And while this frustrated my co-worker to no end, I was never really bothered by this fact until I read that quote.

“Joy that we cannot share with others is only half enjoyed.”

What if I’ve only been half enjoying my life? What if I’ve only been half enjoying yours? And what would happen if I learned to finally, fully share my joy?

Because I’m pretty sure I have friends who get more (outwardly) excited about events in my life than I do. Just yesterday I had a friend ask me what the current word count on my novel is and when I answered him, he smiled real big and said, “Whoa, that’s a novel.”

And I casually responded, “Yeah, it’s coming along,” when the proper response was probably something more like, “OH MY GOSH, I KNOW! Isn’t it awesome?”

Because I have a right to get excited. I have a right to express that excitement.

I have a right to experience joy to the fullest by daring to share it with others.

My joy. Your joy. I’m ready to “enjoy” it.

So please, share your joy with me in the comments so we can both experience the full measure of joy.

"Joy that we cannot share with others is only half enjoyed."

Standard

Posted by

Posted on

03/01/2013

Posted under

Live the Journey

Comments

Leave a comment

The Needy Kind

I once informed my family that I was going to spend some time with Jesus.

“Tell Him I said, ‘hi,'” my mom said.

Then my brother (who was not five, but twenty-three) chimed in, “Tell Him I want a pony.”

We all got some laughs out of that one, but when I sit down and really think about it, I find that the confession that slips off my tongue is, “I’m not really the needy kind, except when it comes to You.”

Because I’m pretty independent. I’m not one to ask people for help until I’ve tried it on my own and discovered that I really can’t do it. But that’s not the case when it comes to my prayer journals. And I’m not saying that every page details me asking for a pony. There are days where I write out lists of things I’m thankful for and marvel at how God managed to blow my mind yet again, but when I flip through the pages that reflect my spiritual walk, I find that so many of my prayers include me asking for something.

To be sheltered close to God’s heart.

To learn to see with His eyes.

That God will grant favor to that missionary who is very much a part of my heart.

That I will find joy in His presence and hope in the hard times.

And I think, when’s the last time I shut myself away from the world simply to tell God “hi”?

I can’t remember. I think there was a time, once, when I would wake up in the morning and whisper a greeting to the One who shapes my days, but it has been too long ago. I’ve become needy in all the wrong ways.

Or maybe the problem is that I’m not needy enough.

I want to be the kind of needy that craves time spent in His presence.

I want to be the kind of needy that reaches out to Him the moment I wake up.

I want to be the kind of needy that can’t live without knowing He’s right by my side every, single moment of the day.

I want to be the kind of needy that doesn’t need answers; only Him.

And if I have one request today, it’s that He would be enough.