Author Archives: Rebekah Roper

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12/15/2010

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I Just Want to be a Mirror

“Herein lies the essential difference between fiction and nonfiction: Nonfiction tells us what is wrong and how to fix it; fiction holds a mirror up to our lives and allows us to apply the truth in an infinite number of individual ways.”

That quote by Penelope Stokes entered my mind as I sat before God in prayer one day. “God, I just want to be a mirror,” I insisted. It was never in my plan to have God turn my dreams upside-down. Had I known where God would be directing this whole Beyond Waiting journey, you probably wouldn’t be reading this blog today. From the very beginning, I begged Him. “But God, I can’t do this. I write fiction.”

“No,” God corrected, “you write truth wrapped in the guise of a story.”

He was right, of course. He’s always right.

But there’s just something about a good story that brings the whole world into perspective for me. While I hear people say that they find the Old Testament to be culturally irrelevant, I discover some of my greatest life lessons in the history of these flawed human beings. Tell me a story, and I will find where God is hiding in the background. Every story ever told is all about Him. And for that reason, I long to tell His stories.

But of course, God wouldn’t simply have me telling stories- He’d have me stepping outside the box I had formed around my dreams. He would have me expanding the bounds of my imagination. He would still have me telling stories, but they would not always need to consist of the fictional characters that so easily become my reality.

So, writing this blog is me living my dream in a way I never dreamed possible, because only God could make me aware of the dreams I never knew I was dreaming. Only God could knock out the walls I had formed around my full potential. And only God could hold up His mirror and show me what He sees when He looks at my life.

So I’ve changed my tune (or at least my prayer.) I just want to be a mirror that reflects God’s glory.

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12/11/2010

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Hugging Baby Jesus

Last night, my two-year-old neighbor came over to visit. Tessa has always inspired me with her childlike wonder, but last night, her innocence was sweeter than ever. She found herself captivated by the nativity’s Baby Jesus and asked if she could hold it. After playing with the naked baby for a moment, she decided that the baby must be cold and asked for a blanket to cover him. We dug through my sewing box and pulled out a scrap of old fabric Tessa could use as a blanket.

When she finally tired of playing with the figurine, she insisted that he couldn’t be laid to rest until everyone in the room hugged and kissed him goodnight. This seemingly silly gesture struck my heart. How long had it been since I had consciously hugged Jesus? I know one can’t literally wrap her arms around a God who is bigger than the universe, but I believe that some of our actions are carried to heaven in the form of a hug. Remember that verse that says, “Whatever you do for the least of these…”? I think hugs are included in the “whatever” category.

Lately I’ve been so caught up in everything I have to get done, that I’ve forgotten the reason I exist – to glorify my Savior. To do everything I do in a way that is so full of love for Him that it would seem like I’m literally hugging the King of kings. I haven’t been hugging Him like I should, but today I’m resolving to change that. Today, I am going to intentionally try to put a smile on God’s face.

So. . .

Have you hugged Jesus today?

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12/09/2010

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Fairytale Fallacies

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Tangled Dreams

The other night, I watched one of my favorite fairytales come to life. I have to admit that I was a little skeptical. There are, after all, thousands of ways to mess up a fairytale. How would the big screen convey this classic tale that is so dear to my heart? In a world that vies for true love’s kiss, what will they do with the tears that restore sight to a blind man? But Disney, much to my delight, pulled off the retelling of Rapunzel quite masterfully. While she was much different than I always imagined, I found her Disney persona to be just as endearing as the storybook heroine I fell in love with many years ago. And while I thoroughly enjoyed the entire movie, I find that one scene keeps replaying in my mind…

Rapunzel and Flynn have reached the Festival of Lights. Our heroine leans against the edge of the rowboat, stares into the sky, and confesses that she’s nervous. This moment is all she’s dreamed of for sixteen years. What if it isn’t everything she’s imagined it to be?

“It will be,” a confident Flynn replies.

This makes Rapunzel think of an even worse fate. What if it is everything she’s dreamed it to be? After tonight, her lifelong dream is over. What will she do then?

According to Flynn, the best part of the dream is the end, because you get to choose a new one.

Wise words coming from a man who claims he doesn’t have a dream, much less ever fulfilled one. But there it is. Straight from the mouth of Flynn Rider. The end of one dream is the beginning of another.

I don’t know about you, but that’s something I needed to hear lately. I’m in the same boat as Rapunzel. As I’m on the verge of completing my first novel, I’m nervous about what the end of the dream holds. On one hand, I can’t wait to see this vision fully come to life, but at the same time, the thought of closing the final cover on these characters who have been a part of my reality for the past three years almost makes me want to cry.

I feel like God has laid before my eyes thousands of possibilities. “Pick a dream,” He says. How do I choose just one? How do I determine which is worthy of the next three years of my life?

I think that, just as it was with Flynn and Rapunzel, the answer will be quite clear. When the time comes, I’ll know which one is worth the sacrifice. And so will you.

Look at the dreams God weaves between His fingertips much like He weaved the stars in the sky. Pick one out and carry it close to your heart until the time comes for it to finally be released in all of its splendor.

Don’t dread the end of one dream; embrace the start of another.

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12/04/2010

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Left Behind?

My friend had a baby yesterday, and while I’m excited for her, I’m also kind of wondering when I got old enough to have friends with children.

Weddings used to be simple. At first I attended the weddings of relatives, then I watched some of my friends’ older siblings get married. The fact that they were all much older than me made those weddings seem normal. But when I started watching my friends walk down the aisle, I got a little weirded out. I guess I missed the moment I “grew up” because sometimes it floors me to think that Amber is going to be a mom and Megan’s a wife. What does that make me? Well, right now it makes me the only one of the three cousins my age who isn’t pregnant. I always feel weird when I think of that.

It’s not like all my friends are married. In fact, most of them are still single. Still, somehow I feel a little left behind. And while I’m really not anxious to get married right now, I can’t help but wonder when it’s going to happen and who it’s going to be. Some days I think it would be nice to have a husband and kids, but most days I’m perfectly content with the freedom that comes in being single.

Our problem doesn’t lie in our relationship status; it lies in our perspective. If you’re looking at the situation as if you’re being left behind, then that’s what you’ll be. You might be tempted to give up your other dreams and settle for the next guy who comes along… Or you can focus on the blessings of singleness.

As for me, I’m taking my time, living the journey, and waiting for the day God taps me on the shoulder and points out the man He intended for me to marry. Let all my friends tag “Mrs.” on their names; I kind of like being Miss Rebekah for now.

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12/01/2010

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Sacrifices and Dreams

Wouldn't you like to marry this guy?

I used to think that I’d like to marry a man who sings and dances. Now I know it’s a requirement. What happened, you wonder? I moved away from home and realized that not everyone in the world believes that life is a musical. Most families don’t break into spontaneous song and dance routines in the kitchen. (I know, you’re shocked, right?)

The day I walked into my parents’ house over Thanksgiving, I was already singing. It’s a musical house. Something about the atmosphere makes me burst into song, and something about those laminate floors sets a girl’s feet to dancing. I can’t imagine the home I one day make for myself as being any different. There’s just something magical about the way five voices can join into a chorus of “Whiskey in the Jar” as my parents laugh along.

My future husband must sing and dance. This is a non-negotiable. You may be laughing and thinking I’m crazy, but I’m perfectly serious. Although I already wrote a post about trashing my list of things I’m looking for in a husband, there are still a few things that are permanently ingrained in my mind. I simply choose not to dwell on all of them at the same time, or even one of them for very long. Just because I want to marry a man who sings and dances doesn’t mean I’m taking auditions.

I hope you don’t feel like I’m sending conflicting messages by saying, “Trash the list, but know what you want.” If the list works for you, keep it. As long as the things you’ve set in your mind aren’t distracting you from life here and now, keep thinking about them. Just don’t ever compromise. Know the things that are non-negotiable, but don’t think about it all the time. Here’s my encouragement of the day:

Don’t sacrifice the big dreams, because you may have to sacrifice the small; and one day when you look back, you will have sacrificed them all.

The man doesn’t have to have dark hair and the perfect smile, but if singing and dancing is a requirement, don’t even look at that guy who’s barely squeaking through Amazing Grace. It won’t end well.

Now if you’ll excuse me, my feet are itching to dance…

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11/24/2010

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Embrace Truth

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Reluctantly Called

For the longest time, I simply didn’t understand people who said they were afraid to give God control of their lives because they were afraid He would call them to some remote village in Africa. Maybe that’s because I gladly would have gone to Africa as I delighted in my call to world missions. Many missionaries tell stories of their hesitation to follow God into the mission field, but not me. I fell in love with the dreams God was stirring in my heart and I couldn’t fathom how anyone would fear God would call them to something they didn’t want to do… Until He called me to something I had no desire to dream. For the first time in my life, I truly related to Thomas Carlisle’s “The Great Intruder.”

“It is exasperating to be called so persistently when the last thing we want to do is get up and go but God elects to keep on haunting like some holy ghost.”

So there I was with this “holy ghost haunting,” and sweet, obedient, willing-hearted, little me said, “There is no way I’m pursuing that one. If You want this to happen, You’re going to have to make it happen Yourself.” (FYI – that is a really, really dumb thing to say to God because it just might be possible that He’s truly serious about that thing to which He called you.) Last night, He answered my foolish statement. Last night, He stripped away all my excuses. Last night, He provided such a clear starting point that I can’t turn away this time.

While I should listen when God calls me, sometimes I’m stubborn and insist that I need more than His call if I’m actually going to move. So last night, God sent me a person to ask me to follow that calling, and I felt Him whisper in my heart, “You denied Me, but can you deny her?” I couldn’t. And He knew it; that’s why He sent her to ask for Him.  

So I’m taking this moment to say that I’m stepping out into the calling I never dreamed of, and I’m willing to bet it will soon become my greatest dream. Because I still believe God doesn’t call us to things we don’t want to do; there are simply a few things we don’t yet realize we want to do.

So if God has been stirring something in your heart and you’ve been afraid to answer, this is your call from a human, beseeching you to step out. Someone in this world needs you to take that place God has opened up for you. If you’ve somehow managed to deny God, please don’t deny that person who really needs you to embrace your calling. I can guarantee you won’t regret it, but you will regret not trying.

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11/22/2010

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Sing-Along Scriptures

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Abraham, Isaac, and… Israel?

Do you remember that great passage in the Bible where God names Abraham? The name was given to him as a promise: “No longer will you be called Abram; your name will be Abraham for I have made you a father of many nations.” (Genesis 17:5) From that moment on, there is no mention of Abram and Sarai. They have been completely replaced by Abraham and Sarah.

Now skip forward several chapters to where Abraham’s grandson has a similar experience. “Then the man said, ‘Your name will no longer be Jacob, but Israel, because you have struggled with God and with men and have overcome.'” (Genesis 32:28) Strangely enough, the first two words in the very next verse are, “Jacob said.” Twenty-five mentions of the name Jacob later, God appears to him once more and declares his name to be Israel. (Genesis 35:10) I don’t think Jacob ever fully claims that promise. Want to know why? I counted the number of times Jacob and Israel were mentioned throughout the remaining chapters of Genesis. Israel is named 30 times, but Jacob comes in first place with 46. That whisper of a promise was there the whole time, resurfacing every once in awhile, but in the end it seems that Jacob couldn’t rid himself of the title “Deceiver” and to this day, Yahweh is the God of Abraham, Isaac and Jacob. The promise was seemingly not claimed by Jacob, but it was handed down to his children nonetheless as they call themselves the nation of Israel.

My point is: God has promises for you if only you are willing to claim them. Are you willing, like Abraham, to step out into the unknown, trusting that God’s Mighty Hand will guide you? Or will you fluctuate tenaciously back and forth as did Jacob – er, Israel? I pray that you would find the courage to embrace the promises God has for you. May you step out and be willing to change so that you may accept the full extent of God’s blessing.

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11/19/2010

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Fairytale Fallacies

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Love is a Verb

I don’t believe in love at first sight. Attraction, yes. Infatuation, maybe. But love? Definitely not. Love isn’t something that can be developed on the spot. Love is displayed through sacrifice. There’s only one person in the world I would say that I truly loved the moment I laid eyes on him, and that’s only because I had spent the two years leading up to that moment praying for his salvation. So honestly, it wasn’t love at first sight after all; it was love before first sight.

When my brother was asked if he had ever fallen in love, he responded, “Um, love is a verb, not something you fall into.” While I know my amazingly spiritual little brother isn’t the original author of that statement, I loved the definition, and sometimes I need the reminder.

Love is not a feeling. It isn’t butterflies in your tummy or stars in your eyes. Love is a choice one must make every day. I firmly believe that the main reason for divorce is that someone stopped choosing to love. Maybe when the sunshine and rainbows have faded from view and reality sets in, someone realizes that marriage isn’t all it’s cracked up to be. And instead of fighting through the difficulties, they simply make the wrong choice and give up.

I’ll admit that I don’t always want to love my parents or my siblings or my coworkers, but instead of turning my back and shutting them out, I choose to love them through the difficulties. I choose to forgive their thoughtless actions or irritating habits because I remember there was some reason I started loving them in the first place. At one point in time, I deemed them worth loving. And when I get over my anger, I’m sure I’ll find that they’re worth loving still.

1 Corinthians 13 tells us that love is patient and kind; not envious, boastful, proud, rude, self-seeking or easily angered. Love keeps no record of wrongs, doesn’t delight in evil but rejoices with truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails. Never fails. And according to 1 Peter 4:8 it also covers over a multitude of sins.

That doesn’t sound to me like the definition of love I so often hear in our culture. According to the world, one loves until the feelings last, takes what one wants from a relationship, and walks away when satisfaction is no longer felt. To top it all off, we excuse this behavior with trite sayings such as, “It wasn’t meant to be.”

I’ll tell you what wasn’t meant to be. Love was not meant to be about us; it was meant to be about others. Love means giving until it hurts, sacrificing until you bleed. Love is sharing another’s joy, but also feeling their pain. Love has been known to spend endless nights crying itself to sleep because it is so broken for its beloved. Love doesn’t fade like a passing emotion because it’s not an emotion at all.

Love is a verb. Live like you believe it.

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11/17/2010

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Live the Journey

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Discovering Me

I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but there is a new note bouncing around facebook that is either 25, 30, or 50 random facts about the author, depending on who’s writing it. The first one I saw had 50 facts, and I got a little nervous when I read it. 50 facts? Do I even know 50 random facts about myself? It was probably a silly question. Of course I know 50 things about myself. But do I want to dig deep into the recesses of my heart and mind to retrieve them? Probably not.

But I did retrieve them. All 50 of them. Even though I only posted 25 on facebook. As much as I hate doing it, I figured it would probably be a good exercise. It was time to learn the things that I had been hiding from myself. And I did learn. I really had to think about these 50 things. I had to decide what was important enough to earn a place on this exclusive list. Even though my brain rebels against all things analytical, it’s good for me to study my life from time to time.

The answers themselves ask a question of their own. How do I love dancing in the rain when I don’t like being in water? Why do I devour fiction the way that I do? How have I managed to convince most of the world that I’m an extrovert? Why do I gravitate toward certain colors of clothing? These are things a girl should know about herself. And yet I don’t know these things. I don’t know because I never allow myself time to think of them. But knowing what I’m like and why I’m that way helps me understand myself better. Somehow my future ties in with these 50 past and present facts. Somehow these facts have shaped me. And will continue to do so.

Do you know what shapes your life? Do you know what drives you? I challenge you to take a day (or two, like I did) and ask yourself which 50 facts about you are “list-worthy.” Get to know the person God created you to be. Figure out how your past is affecting your future. Then invite God to shape and mold these 50 things that are very much a part of who you are and who you have yet to become.

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11/15/2010

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Casually Breaking Your Heart

Casual dating. I think that’s the biggest oxymoron I’ve ever heard. How can something as serious as a romantic relationship ever be considered “casual?” And yet I hear the phrase tossed around all the time. “Well, yeah we’re dating, but it’s pretty casual. I dunno. We’ll see what happens.” Or, “Yeah, I don’t really like him, but he asked me out so, here we are.”

Don’t be deceived into thinking this is just a “Hollywood culture” mentality, either. It has infiltrated our churches. When I confided in a Christian friend that a guy friend of mine was trying to get me to go out with him, this is the opinion she shared with me: “Well, he sounds like a pretty sweet guy, and you seem to get along well with him. I don’t see any harm in two friends casually hanging out and maybe grabbing a cup of coffee.” Really? Well, then I think I’ll just wear a flashing, neon sign that reads: “Hey, I like you back, so keep pursuing me!” That might be a little more subtle.

For me to have gone on a “casual” date with this guy would have been wrong because he would have read much more into the situation than just “grabbing a cup of coffee” with a friend. The truth is, although I could have easily gone out with this guy and remained completely unaffected, I’m pretty certain that the mixed signals I would be sending him could be hazardous to his heart. What would my actions be insinuating to him about our relationship? Saying that you are “casually dating” someone is like saying you’re “just friends.” But friends don’t ask friends out unless they are hoping to be more than friends. Are you getting the picture? There is no such thing as casual dating because “casual” only exists on one side of the relationship.

When my friend’s girlfriend broke up with him, she confessed that she hadn’t known if she really liked him or not, so she figured dating him was the only way to find out. Then she got upset with him when he accused her of playing with his heart.

Personally, I think he had a right to be upset. You know, when a guy asks you out, it is okay to tell him, “I’ll think about it,” or better yet, “I’ll pray about it.” (After all, it’s always a good idea to invite God into the scenario right up front.) I can’t help but wonder how much heartache my friend could have been spared had this girl taken a moment to pray about their relationship and seek God’s will instead of just saying “yes” when he asked her out.

But oftentimes, we don’t pray about it. We simply do what our feelings are leading us to do and “follow our hearts.” Now, that’s probably some of the worst advice you ever received from Disney. Did you know that the Bible tells us that our hearts are deceitful and desperately wicked? Let’s face it, ladies – we’re selfish, and our hearts are only catering to our own needs.

So, as a girl who’s a friend of many a guy, I’m begging you, please be careful with the hearts of the men around you. Relationships are not a game. And there is nothing “casual” about breaking a man’s heart. Next time a guy asks you out, take a moment to pray and truly seek God’s will in the situation. If you’re not interested in pursuing the possibility of a permanent relationship with this man, say no. I’m sure the guy will agree with me when I say that temporarily hurting his feelings up front is preferable to crushing his heart a couple months down the road.