“Hope Makes Its Own Magic.”

I’ve admitted before that it’s often hard for me to live the journey. It’s hard for me to find joy in the midst of the mundane. Day after day, I find myself whispering reminders to take back today. But the more I venture into the vulnerability of others’ writings, I’ve come to the conclusion that the fairytale spirit does come somewhat naturally to me.

Because I do believe in happy endings.
I do sing random songs as I’m cleaning the house.
I do let myself get caught in daydreams.
And I do dance with the fireflies on Midsummer’s Eve.

I don’t do all of that because it’s what I think I should do. I do it because it’s who I am.

Some of the stuff I’ve been reading here of late has been really dark. The subject matter is heavy and some of the quotes are capable of ripping my heart out of my chest. I could deal with all of that if it weren’t for the obvious lack of hope. When I read things like, “There’s no going back. It’s too late. What’s done is done,” I experience a range of emotions. First, I hurt for the person who wrote such disparaging words, then I get a little angry. I get angry because I can’t help but think, “How do you know it’s too late to bring beauty from these ashes? Who are you to say that you’re beyond Redemption’s reach?”

I get angry because there are people who try to limit God and destroy Hope.

And I know that some many people have lived far worse lives than I have. And I know there are situations beyond our control that are capable of knocking our feet out from under us. But I can’t comprehend the lack of Hope.

Because even on my darkest days, Hope lingers. And though I’ve written some pretty desperate journal entries and a couple dark poems, one thing differentiates them from the stuff I’ve been reading lately. It always ends with me waiting for rescue and believing that help is on the way. I always leave room for Hope.

Which takes me back to the story of Pandora’s Box.

Pandora. The young woman who released evil into the world and dared to let Hope in along with it. I think that the reason her story resonates with me is because I’m just like Pandora. I would open the box twice. Even after I’ve been burned by all that is evil, I would dare to take a chance on Hope. Maybe that makes me stupid. But at least it gives me Hope…

Today, I’m taking that gift I’ve been given and releasing it to the world. Embrace Hope, my friend, because life is such a cold, lonely place without it.

Light Bulbs, Airplanes, and Impossible Dreams

“Fear wants to stop our stories,” Anne Jackson writes. And I think I’m going to have to read the chapter over again because all I saw was that simple sentence. So at the risk of writing something that might already be written let me tell you why that sentence stopped me in my tracks.

I think most of us are more aware of our dreams than we care to admit. When someone asks you what you want to do when you grow up and you reply, “I don’t know,” I’m inclined to wonder whether you honestly don’t know or whether you’re afraid of what you do know. Because Fear has a way of killing our dreams.

The thing about dreams is that they’re larger than life. Impossible, even. And maybe in your heart you know what you would really love to do if there were no possible way you could fail. So what do you want to do with your life?

And you’re still saying that you don’t know because the big question I just posed was “if.” I said “if” there was no possible way you could fail, but that’s just the thing. There are countless ways you could fail, says Fear. And if you fail, people are going to laugh. If you fail, you will have wasted your life. If you fail, you’ll have nothing to show for yourself but a pile of shattered dreams.

But listen closely before you close the door on your dreams, because Fear says the same thing I did. “If,” Fear whispers. “If.” And maybe all those things Fear says are true. People may laugh and your dreams may shatter if you fail. But there’s no guarantee that you will fail. And what’s the harder life to live – the life of someone who dared to pursue their dreams regardless of what the critics said or the life of someone who died having never attempted to do that one thing that beat in their heart?

One day your heart will stop beating and your dream will die with it. Unless… Unless you dared to give it life before you encountered death. Because some dreams outlive the dreamer. In fact, I would imagine that most dreams do.

Don’t believe me? Hit the nearest light switch and see what happens. What happens is all because Thomas Edison dared to dream that there was a better source of light than candles. And he burned a few candles in the process of making that dream a reality. A new friend of mine is boarding a plane back to Barcelona tonight, but I never would have even met her if the Wright brothers hadn’t quit their day job and decided to invent a flying machine.

Light bulbs and airplanes… Impossible dreams. You can bet that there were critics. You can bet that Fear screamed that it couldn’t be done. And history shows there were failures. The dream didn’t fall together in a day. There were setbacks and frustrations and things that didn’t work.

And you can bet that these dreamers got discouraged. But they didn’t let their temporary failures destroy their dreams. Because they knew in their hearts that lights were made for shining and men were made for flying and that, one day, in the not-so-distant future their dreams wouldn’t seem so impossible after all.

But I Don’t Even Know What I Want {A Guest Post}

Have you ever believed you wanted something only to find that it may not have been exactly what you wanted after all?

Been there, done that, bought the t-shirt and then decided the shirt wasn’t as great as it looked on the hanger. Such is life.

Which is why I’m over at SingleRoots today talking about how I may not know what I want, but God always knows what I need.  Hop on over and check it out!

Overflow

Yesterday, during youth group, Ray played a video that started with the image of a glass of dirty, dark water. Then these two young people opened their mouths and began to speak about who we are in Christ. As the Truth poured from their lips, a faucet started dripping. Drip. Drip. Drip.

The longer they spoke, the more the faucet opened. From drip to steady trickle. From steady trickle to a nonstop stream of clear water. The water poured into the glass until it overflowed, forcing the original, contaminated water out and replacing it with the clean substance that gives life.

I loved the imagery in that video. Because that is exactly what Truth does for us.

There are so many lies in the world. Lies that we hear every day. Many of those lies are easily identified, but others… Others are easier to accept as truth. Others sink more easily into our hearts and cloud the view God intended for us to have of ourselves.

There’s this thing called Truth. And most of us know the Truth, but find it so easy to forget. So impossible to believe. But the Truth remains:

You are a child of God, chosen before the creation of the world.

You are more than a conqueror.

You are redeemed from the curse of the law, delivered from the power of darkness, and free from condemnation.

You are the salt of the earth and the light of the world.

You are the bride of Christ.

You are God’s workmanship, created to do great things.

You have been given abundant, overflowing life.

You, just like the clear glass of water from the video, have something to offer the world. Something that is pure and beautiful and life-giving. You have Truth.

And though the world is busy pretending that it doesn’t need Truth, there are billions of people on this planet who are aching for what you have. 

So let the Truth sink deeply into your heart. Let it transform the way you see yourself. And let it overflow until it brings life to this dying world.

Foolish Enough to Change the World

If you all haven’t heard of Hannah Brencher, you should check out hannahkaty.com right now. …Or maybe you should wait until after I finish my introduction. I think Hannah is me in a more poetic form. I think she’s me if I were living freer and dreaming bigger and daring greater than I ever have before. Hannah believes in beauty and wonder and sacredness.  She believes in living with her heart wide open and loving deeper than most would dare to love. Hannah is my inspiration. Because Hannah reminds me that I’m not the only one foolish enough to believe she can change the world.

You know what our problem is? We try to make sense out of life. We try to rationalize things and define things and pretend we know exactly what is going on all around us all the time. We like to be in control, and we content ourselves with living an illusion of control because we will never actually have a handle on our lives. Never.

And we call ourselves “realists” ~ say we’ve “grown up” ~ when really we’re just control freaks who don’t want to imagine that there could be more to life than what we know. We’ve forgotten that Jesus commanded us to be like little children. We’ve forgotten that our sense of wonder is something we were never meant to lose.

We clench our fists around the details of our lives and watch them pour like sand through our fingers when, all the while, God is asking us to live with open hands and watch His will unfold. It’s so much easier to cradle sand in open palms. But in our desperation to control our lives, we forget to cherish the moments. As God’s perfect design explodes into being around us, we forget to stand and gasp in awe like a child on the 4th of July.

And we quietly live our infinitely small lives, never dreaming that something better could be out there. Never hoping that maybe we were meant for greater things.

Well I, for one, will not go gently. I’ll not remain silent as life passes me by. I would rather fail believing I was meant for world changing than live knowing I wasn’t brave enough to risk it. And in the words of Hannah Brencher:

“If I have only one quality for the rest of my life I hope that it is foolish… Foolish enough to think that I can make a difference in this world and then go out and do the things that others say cannot be done..”

May God make us all foolish enough to believe we can change the world.

The Beyond Waiting Journey {A Guest Post}

“Honestly, I can’t say that there was an exact moment [that started the Beyond Waiting journey]. I mean, there was the moment that I looked up the definition of the word ‘wait’ and realized that this is largely part of the reason why single women tend to struggle with their relationship status, but that’s just the time I decided to write the book.”

A few weeks ago, I connected with Becky Bernier to talk about the impact this Beyond Waiting journey has made on my life. Today, our reflective conversation goes live on her blog. So hop on over to Becky’s World and join the conversation about my heart for both the book and the movement that is taking place within my generation.

I Will Follow You

I spent the weekend at Youth Convention with my church’s youth ministry. There are a lot of things that could be said about this weekend, but the one thing that resonated in my heart – the one that was given enough consideration to be hastily scribbled onto the back of a business card in the middle of a worship service – was when 2,000 voices banded together to sing, “We will follow You to the cross.”

That’s the only line I remember from that song because it’s the line that forced me to stop singing and challenged me to think instead.

Would I? Would I follow Him all the way to the cross? Would I have been one of the women who stayed at his side until the brutal end? Or would I have been like the other disciples? The ones who ran and hid until the storm blew over – until the resurrection shattered the fear that clouded their hearts? Or worse yet, would I have been like Peter – who swore He never knew the crucified Messiah?

There I stood amongst 2,000  young people who boldly declared that they would stand firm to the end, when I stopped to wonder if they really knew what they were saying. Because the disciples had proclaimed such words too. At one point in time, Thomas even said, “Let us also go, that we may die with him” (see John 11), but when the time came for dying, he fled with all the others. Because he didn’t really want to die for Jesus. He wasn’t ready to follow Him all the way to the cross.

And I think of the many times I’ve sang lyrics similar to the ones I heard this weekend. I think of the many times I’ve said I’ll follow Him to the cross. Did I really mean those words? Do I really have what it takes to be a martyr? I’d like to say so, but I’m finding that I can’t declare it with such a fervent conviction. I’d much rather stick with safe promises like:

I’ll follow You… up to a certain point.

I’ll follow You… as long as You’re going my way.

I’ll follow You… until I find something I’d rather follow.

Because when life is all sunshine and roses, it’s easy to say that you would die for Jesus, but when you’re staring down the barrel of a gun, the words tend to lodge in your throat.

The scary thing is, Jesus never promised that following Him would be easy. In fact, He only ever told people how hard it is to be His disciple. And He isn’t looking for halfhearted followers; He’s looking for the ones who will follow Him all the way to the cross.

I wonder what percentage of those 2,000 teenagers actually have the guts to follow Him that far. I wonder which percentage I’m in.

Somewhere Between Ordinary and Divine

I’ve been busy lately. There’s work and writing, editing and ministry, blogging and play dates with friends. Life has a way of sneaking up and consuming the moments. And that’s not always bad… until you find that those moments are no longer filled with the things that really matter. The things of God.

It’s all too easy to find yourself drifting. To look up and realize that you’re a long shot from where you want to be. To wake up and realize that you’ve let so many other things get in the way of what’s truly important. And the thing that amazes me the most in the midst of all of this is that it’s not that the things that are keeping me busy are bad. In fact, they are all necessary things. Things that I’m called to. Things that are vital to my existence.

The amazing thing is that God cares about these things. He concerns Himself with the details – both the big and the small. And yet… yet He calls us away from those details. Away from the intricacies that consume our time. The mundane things that inhabit our existence.

Sometimes God has to intervene. Sometimes He has to pull us away and help us recapture our sense of wonder. Sometimes He invites us back to the fantastical world where pumpkins turn into carriages and kisses end curses and there’s always the hope that dreams come true. Because we weren’t meant to struggle through life as if it is some sort of burden. Sometimes, perhaps more often than we realize, God invites us to drink deeply of His Presence, lose ourselves in His love and dance unhindered in the courts of His Kingdom. That’s what this life is all about.

And, of course, it’s necessary to fulfill our duties and press on through the little things in life, but the danger is in losing our sense of wonder. In failing to see the greater picture in the midst of all the details. We walk a fine line between the ordinary and the divine and somehow find ourselves leaning toward the ordinary every time. What is wrong with us?

Know that I’m talking to myself when I say: Consider this your invitation to step out of the mundane details of your ordinary life. Allow your heart to become enraptured in thoughts of a heavenly realm and let the King of the Universe sweep you off into the fantastical wonder of His “once upon a time” tale.

The Should-do Would-do Life

The other day, I came upon what I thought was the best writing advice I ever received. Then I realized that Victoria Schwab’s advice on the “should-do would-do” book dilemma can be applied to far more than just writing. I believe it’s something we all need to hear – permission we all need to be given. I’d highly recommend hopping over to Victoria’s website and reading the full article. (I’d also recommend getting your hands on her debut novel The Near Witch because it’s a literary work of art.) But here’s the life-encompassing twist I’ve put on Miss Schwab’s writing advice:

Throughout the course of your life, you’ll find a whole let of people who know just what you “should” do. And a lot of them are probably right. See, the should-do life is the one that makes sense. It’s the one that pays the bills and keeps you living in comfort. It’s the one that protects you from the risk of rejection. It’s the ordinary, logical, everyone-is-living it life – the one that ensures your survival.

…Then there’s the would-do life. The one that exists only in the back of your mind and your wildest dreams. The one that lingers on the fringes of your reality, begging to be realized. It’s the life you would choose if only you didn’t have all those should-do dilemmas weighing you down.

So what do you do when you come to the crossroads between what you should do and what you would do? Yes, it’s hard because it defies all logic, but Victoria Schwab and I both beg you to always, always, ALWAYS choose the would-do life. Why? Here’s Victoria’s response to that question:

“Because I picked the SHOULD DO path. I did it willingly. And now I’m changing course. I’m setting down the SHOULD DO and picking up the WOULD DO, and it is terrifying and maybe a bad idea (and that’s my writer brain begging, pleading) but the moment I opened THAT document, the WOULD DO one, I smiled. The moment I started typing, I lost myself. There was joy in the journey again.”

My friend, I can guarantee you that life is too short to live the should-do life. That joy in the journey is worth it. Your passions were given to you for a purpose and, by all means, you were meant to embrace them. So release your hesitations. Let go of all your fears. Close your eyes for just one minute and dream the would-do dream.

At the beginning of this year, I finally chose the would-do path. And I know I’m not a math person, but three months later, I’m crunching numbers that don’t make sense and realizing that, somehow, God is taking care of me (just like He said He would).

And I know with most certainty that there is joy – such a wondrous, freeing, beautiful joy – in choosing the would-do life.

When Life Happens

“You can’t never let anything happen to him. Then nothing would ever happen to him.”

Profound insight from the world’s favorite, seriously confused fish. I think this line from Finding Nemo makes us laugh because it is such an obvious statement, but in all actuality, it’s also a great reminder.

We tend to play it safe. We protect others. We protect ourselves. And in doing so, we miss out on a vital part of living. We weren’t made to live in a bubble. We were made to thrive and explore, push ourselves to our limits, and yes, even fail sometimes.

You know how babies learn to walk? By falling down. If they never fall, they never learn to balance. By sheltering and protecting our kids, we keep them from living to their fullest potential. We keep them from excelling at things in which they could truly thrive. And, as Dory would say: “Not much fun for little Harpo.”

Sometimes life happens. Sometimes we find that things aren’t going according to plan. Sometimes we face challenges that knock us down. But that doesn’t mean we should stay down. That doesn’t mean we should sequester ourselves away from the world in hopes that we will never again feel the sting of failure.

When you attempt to protect yourself from the bad things, you accidentally block out the good things, as well. You can’t never let anything happen to you. Then nothing would ever happen to you. You can’t find acceptance without risking rejection. You can’t experience success without risking failure. It’s not possible to embrace what is good in life without coming across a few bad things in the process.

It’s time to move beyond the comfortable, little space you’ve created for yourself and attempt great things. It’s time to let things happen. I’m confident that you can overcome whatever trials may come your way as long as you take some advice from Dory and…

Just. Keep. Swimming.