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03/16/2011

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Live the Journey

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With a Writer’s Passion

It always hits me in the mornings. I cannot even count the number of times my cappuccino has grown cold as my pen dances across the page, or how many times I’ve scrambled to make it to work on time after being held spellbound by a scene that unfolds in my mind.

Every writer lives with a handful of characters that scream at her like pesky children – waking her up at night, interrupting her quiet times, and grabbing her by the shirt tail at the most inconvenient opportunities. But she cannot deny them for, unlike a child, they will not remember what it was that they wanted after an hour has passed. She must capture the moment when it comes or risk losing it forever.

But then I think… Shouldn’t every moment of my life be just like those inspired writing moments? Shouldn’t I embrace life with such intensity that I cannot imagine the passing of time as each scene plays out before my eyes?

Most days I rush through life, constantly glancing at the clock, counting the seconds until one event or another.  I forget that life is not made up of great events, but of little moments. And each tick of the clock is a moment I’ve wasted being caught up in the busyness of life.

Oh, but for the heart of a child – to embrace each moment with such passion and wonder. To allow the simple things to stir my heart and bring a smile to my face. Oh, but that I would embrace each moment of my life with my writer’s passion. This is my reminder today to live the journey. Live.

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03/14/2011

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Why Does God Allow Evil?

“If God is so good, why is there so much evil in the world?”

It’s a common question between believers and non-believers alike. Believers want to know why God allows suffering, while the non-believers challenge that our world is proof that there is no loving God.

Until just now, I didn’t have a good answer to that question. I simply figured that God was God, and He had reasons beyond which we could wrap our finite human minds. While that  still remains true, I’ve found a little more clarity regarding God’s seeming inactivity as I  read the Parable of the Weeds in Matthew 13.

In this story, a man sowed good seed in a field, but when everyone was sleeping, his enemy came and scattered weeds among the crop. When the plants began to grow, it was quite obvious that there had been foul play, but when the servants asked if they should pull the weeds, the farmer said no. He explained that, in purging the evil, they might accidentally uproot the good. The farmer wouldn’t risk that, so the weeds remained until harvest.

So there it is. Straight from the mouth of Jesus. The reason there is evil in our world. Satan sowed his seed among God’s own, and God won’t risk harming His children in order to rid this world of evil. Only when the time for harvest comes will He separate the wheat from the weeds.

It’s pretty bizarre to think that God allows evil for our sakes. It doesn’t make much sense to my logical human mind, but God seems to think that it’s best for me that way. For now, I’m content to  simply cling to the promise of the harvest and know that God is going to purge all the evil from this world someday.

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03/12/2011

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Embrace Truth

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You are Enough

Identity. That word is such a huge deal in our culture. It seems that everyone is out to “find themselves” nowadays. I’m not entirely sure what that statement fully means, but I do understand the delicate dance of trying to find your place in the world. But when it comes to identity, I think we place too much value in who other people say we are or say we should be.

In the movie What a Girl Wants, seventeen-year-old Daphne Reynolds dreams of meeting the father she has never known. She tells her mother, “I feel like a part of me is missing, and without the other half, how am I supposed to know who I really am?” Ironically, in Daphne’s desperate quest to “find herself”, she nearly loses herself as she squelches her wild, carefree personality in order to fit in with her dad’s traditional world. My heart always cheers her on as she looks her father in the eye and says, “You know what I miss now? I miss being me. I’ve finally realized that that is enough.”

Being the person you are is all you have to be. It’s enough. Even when people tell you that you’ll never amount to anything. Even when you’ve failed for the hundredth time. You don’t have to adopt the dreams the world tries to shove down your throat; all you have to do is pursue the dreams God has given you.

God is the only One whose opinion really matters because He’s the One who holds firm your true identity. Isaiah 49:16 says, “See, I have engraved you on the palms of my hands…” He bears the scars of a man who was crucified because it reminds Him of you and the sacrifice He had to pay in order to restore you to Himself.  If you want to know who you are, you don’t have to fly halfway across the world. All you have to do is look up into the eyes of the One who calls you His beloved. Let Him tell you who you truly are. He’ll tell you that you are you. Exactly as He created you to be. And that, my friend, is enough.

You’ve written my name on the palm of Your hand, but until you revealed it to me, I had no idea it so closely resembled a nail-shaped scar…


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03/10/2011

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Getting Honest

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Yet I will rejoice

“I went to sleep with gum in my mouth and now there’s gum in my hair and when I got out of bed this morning I tripped on the skateboard and by mistake I dropped my sweater in the sink while the water was running and I could tell it was going to be a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day.”

So begins the popular children’s book, Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day. When I read that book, I’m inclined to laugh at the “tragic” events that occur throughout Alexander’s day, but I find it more difficult to smile when I’m having one of those days myself. The past couple days have been so crazy that I feel like I could write a book entitled Rebekah and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Week.

And, as He often does on days like these, God turned my mind to Habakkuk 3:17-18. “Though the fig tree does not bud and there are no grapes on the vines, though the olive crop fails and the fields produce no food, though there are no sheep in the pen and no cattle in the stalls, yet I will rejoice in the Lord, I will be joyful in God my Savior.”

Yet I will rejoice in the Lord. Yet, as in, even though nothing is going my way, even though all I want to do is scream, even though I don’t feel an ounce of joy in this heart of mine, even though I simply want to move to Australia. Yet I will rejoice in the Lord. Even when I’m having a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day (which is certainly what the Israelites were having when God delivered this word to them).

I know this isn’t something I can accomplish on my own. So I’ll take a deep breath and ask God to please put some joy back into my heart. Now I’ve nothing to do but prayerfully wait for his peace to saturate my being. In the meantime…

Okay, so maybe I’ll forget that last bit and listen to some worship music instead.
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03/10/2011

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“The One”

I couldn’t help but sigh as I read my friend’s status update: 1 month! ❤

Ironically enough, that same friend’s status read 18 months only a couple months ago. And so continues the search for “the one”. Boyfriend after boyfriend after boyfriend, she still hasn’t found him, but manages to convince herself that the next guy will be different. And, yes, he will be different as not one human is the same as another. But different isn’t necessarily right.

It’s probably pretty easy for me to judge because I’ve never actually dated anyone (GASP!), but sometimes I feel like those counting statuses are almost like a twisted little game. Let’s see how long I can keep this one. Yes, 14 months! A new record! That probably sounds callous because I know that’s not the intention. There’s a joy and excitement behind those status updates that I’ve yet to experience, but I’ve also seen the pain and disappointment that comes when a person falls short of that 19- month marker. For awhile, she really thought he would be the one… but he wasn’t.

Ever heard that quote, “My knight in shining armor turned out to be a loser in tinfoil.”? Isn’t it strange how close his disguise resembled shining armor until the breakup? I guess I’m just sick of hearing, “Oh, he’s so wonderful,” only to learn that, “He’s such a jerk,” a few months later. What happened? I don’t believe that someone can go from being Mr. Wonderful to Mr. Scum-of-the-Earth in a split-second. I’m not inclined to believe he was ever either of those things. But it hurts me to think that two people can become so set against one another simply because a relationship failed to play out the way they imagined it would.

So, ladies, cut the guys a break. Don’t pretend he’s more than he is, and don’t gripe about him being any less either. If he’s not the one, take a deep breath and walk away. Because one day, you will find the one. And if you will only wait for him, he could be even more than you imagined. Just try not to get too caught up in your fantasies, and allow God to guide your steps. He’ll take care of the rest.

And just for fun, check out this humorous song from Superchick about waiting for Prince Charming.


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03/08/2011

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Waiting…

The three children bounced on the trampoline, shouting at the ground beneath them. “You can’t hurt us, Satan! God is going to beat you up!”

The youngest of them chimed in. “He would right now, but He’s busy.”

“No, He’s not busy,” her older counterpart corrected. “He’s just waiting.”

Waiting. God is waiting. I wonder what it is He’s waiting for. Why doesn’t He intervene when evil triumphs in our world? Why doesn’t He put an end to the suffering in our midst? Why doesn’t He hurry to vanquish Satan forever? Why does He wait? And why does He insist on making me wait with Him?

I think that’s our biggest problem with God’s periods of waiting. We’re so anxious to rush into things that it bothers us to wait with God. We start to think that if God called us to something, things should start happening now. But still, God waits.

Do you ever think that perhaps God is waiting for you? Do you ever wonder if the reason nothing is happening might be because you haven’t taken the steps to make it happen? I could say that whatever God waits for is really none of my concern… unless He is waiting for me.

Nothing happens on its own. God usually doesn’t drop things into our laps unless we are actively pursuing His will. Once you start moving in the right direction, God no longer has to wait. But if He waits for you and you wait for Him, your dreams will wait along with you.

For this reason, I choose to move Beyond Waiting. I choose to step out into the unknown, believing that God will clear a path before me.

He’s just waiting… But not for long.

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03/02/2011

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Paradoxes and Mysteries

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I DO Believe in Fairies

Did you know that every time you say, “I don’t believe in fairies”, a fairy falls down dead?

Well, I don’t know if you believe in fairies or not, but I think this is an interesting thought to ponder. Of all things that could possibly sap a fairy of its strength, why is it disbelief?

I don’t think fairies are the only ones whose existence thrives on belief. I think we humans are similar. So maybe we don’t physically die, but sometimes our dreams do.

When I was in high school, a friend of my father’s used to come up to me, take my face between his hands, kiss me on the forehead (he’s one of the precious few people who can get away with doing that), and tell me, “I believe in you.” At the time, I thought it was a strange thing for him to say. Exactly what was he referring to when he said he believed in me? Silly me was looking for specifics; my friend was saying precisely what he meant.

Me. He believed in me. He believed in the infinite possibilities God had placed within my heart. He believed in anything and everything I was capable of doing. Even the things I had yet to discover.

It’s amazing how much of our potential begins or ends in our minds. If we tell ourselves we can’t, we can’t. If we’re convinced that we will fail, we fail. Sometimes all it takes is that one person looking you in the eye and saying, “I believe in you.”

I have a cousin who is six years old. She can’t walk, can’t talk, and has no diagnosis and, therefore, no known cure. But I know that Leah thrives on belief. My aunt tells me stories of how Leah shuts down around certain people. Basic functions are difficult for her to perform, so if you don’t believe she’s capable of doing them, she won’t waste her energy trying to impress. But I’ve only heard the stories because I know that Leah is much more capable than she lets on. She comes alive around me because I’m the kind of person who takes her face in my hands, kisses her on the forehead, looks deep into her eyes, and whispers, “I believe in you.”

If I could see your face right now, I’d tell you the same. I don’t care what anyone else has told you. You are capable of so much more than you ever dreamed you could be. So this is me, clapping my hands, rousing you back to the realm of dreams and possibilities. Wake up, my friend. I believe in you.

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02/28/2011

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I Just Haven’t Met You Yet… Or Have I?

I have a confession to make: I really like Michael Buble’s song Haven’t Met You Yet. I think it’s something we all think about without even being aware that we’re thinking about it. We have all these ideas about our future husband and the life we are going to share with him, and we start dreaming about the day that we will meet him. We get this notion that we are somehow going to instantly know that he is the one. Perhaps the reason we set our minds on that man we’ve yet to meet is because it’s a little disconcerting to think that we may have, in fact, already met him.

What if I’ve shaken my husband’s hand at church on a Sunday morning? What if I cheered him on as he sang karaoke to Brittinay’s favorite song? What if I engage him in casual conversation on a regular basis and I don’t even realize he’s the one? I suppose that’s why we sing songs like Haven’t Met You Yet. Maybe that song could be more appropriately titled Haven’t Seen You Yet. What if I have met him, but I simply haven’t seen him for who he is?

Now, by all means, I am not trying to get you to take a closer look at all your guy friends, nor am I hoping that you’ll develop some kind of paranoia every time you so much as see a man. Is it him? Is he the one I’m meant to spend the rest of my life journeying alongside?

Hold your horses. Just calm down. There’s no rush to discover his true identity. If you’ve been engaging him in casual conversation, just remain casual about it. He may not be the one. And if he is, he will still be there when it’s time to do something about it. Personally, I’m not going to get all worked up about it. I’m simply going to trust that “wherever he is, whenever it’s right, he’ll walk out of nowhere and into my life.”

…I just haven’t met him yet.

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02/26/2011

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The Next Best Thing

I was at one of the hardest points of my life. I’d lost someone I’d loved dearly, and found that I was struggling to regain the security that was lost with him being gone. While walking with my mom one day, I confessed my frustrations. What was wrong with me? And why was I having romantic feelings toward a friend who had long been like a brother to me?

“Honey,” my mom whispered sympathetically, “he’s the next best thing.”

Perhaps it stems from the contents of the novel I’m currently working on, but I’ve been thinking of “the next best thing” recently. It’s strange how quick we are to settle for it. What our hearts truly want is that best thing, but since it’s out of our reach for the time being, we attempt to appease that aching with “the next best thing” instead. Take it from a girl who has been there, it doesn’t work. It may distract for a time, but it never really fills the void in our hearts.

I feel that too many women are afraid that they will never find the man of their dreams. Through the fault of their impatience, and perhaps some discouragement from others, they convince themselves that the prince of their dreams only exists in their dreams. So they settle for “the next best thing.”

When I look at our world, I see the mess we’ve made of relationships. We don’t strive to develop good relationships anymore. We’re content to settle for the mediocre. We believe that love is for the fairytales, and greatness is nearly impossible to achieve. I think that the demand to “be realistic” has been taken to the extreme. We’ve forgotten how to hope. We’ve forgotten how to dream.

The man of your dreams is out there. It may be awhile before he comes into view, but he is there. So don’t settle for “the next best thing”, because the best thing is out there waiting.

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02/23/2011

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Lord of the Dance

It all started when I read Shannon Kubiak’s The Divine Dance. This picture of dancing hand-in-hand with Jesus quickly worked its way into my heart, and my relationship with the Maker has never been the same.

Two years ago, I discovered “our song”. The first time I danced to the tune of Lord of the Dance, a picture formed in my mind. In the opening notes, I hear God calling me. As the tempo picks up, it’s like I’m coming alive. And before I know it, I’m spinning wildly in circles, giggling with delight. By the end of the dance, I’m completely out of breath and totally in awe of the greatness of my God.

The amazing thing is, when that song starts playing, I almost literally cannot keep from dancing. Last night, I was immersed in a project that required all of my focus. I had my iTunes playing in the background, but I hardly even heard it. That is… until our song came on.

My head jerked up, and my pencil fell from my hand. A smile crept across my face as I realized He was calling me. So I stepped into the empty kitchen and began to dance. With my heart racing and head spinning, I was caught in the glorious thrill of twirling in my Savior’s arms. When the music finally stopped, I fell back against the counter panting for breath. It was one of the most amazing moments I’ve had in far too long a time.

Jesus is real. Jesus is intimate. Jesus is extending His hand, inviting you into the dance of a lifetime. So what are you waiting for? Can’t you hear the song that plays in the deepest depths of your soul? I pray you won’t be able to deny His call… Arise, beloved, and dance.