The Breaking

The day I received my brand new Bible, I flipped the pages open to Genesis 6 so I could underline a passage that I remembered as the first passage I had ever read from the NLT translation: “The Lord observed the extent of human wickedness on the earth, and he saw that everything they thought or imagined was consistently and totally evil. So the Lord was sorry he had ever made them and put them on the earth. It broke his heart.” (Genesis 6:5-6)

Now that may sound like a strange verse to want to underline, but I guess I’m just fascinated by the idea that we are capable of breaking God’s heart. I hadn’t really thought about it until I read this interesting fantasy series about a world that had been created alongside earth, but didn’t fall in Adam and Eve’s rebellion. One conversation between two characters  really resonated in my heart. This wise dwarf is explaining the fall of man to the newly crowned king. The young king wants to know if Adam and Eve’s sin is what broke the Most High’s heart. “Nay,” the wizened, old dwarf replies, “this is what started the breaking.”

This is what started the breaking – meaning God’s tender, fragile heart has suffered more than once. Meaning His heart has been broken repeatedly since that moment. Meaning I’m guilty for some of the pain experienced by the Most High.

I think that if we are going to experience a loving, intimate relationship with God, we have to realize that we are capable of breaking His heart – just as we are capable of breaking the heart of a human being. No, God is not human, but since we were made in His image, we humans possess many of His qualities – such as a heart that feels both joy and pain.

Think about this: your heart can only be broken by someone you’ve entrusted with it. God has entrusted you with His heart. He has given you the ability to hurt Him because He thinks you are worth the risk. If that doesn’t move you, I don’t know what will. The thing that breaks my heart is that I know I am the person described in Genesis 6:5. I know I’ve thought and done some things that are consistently and totally evil. In reflection of all this, I wrote this poem:

One single tree, one simple command;

they acted like they didn’t hear it.

One bite of the fruit was a knife in your soul

and already, they knew they were drifting.

So this is what broke the Most High’s heart?

Nay, only what started the breaking.

Every day it is broken again

as Your Word remains ignored.

To say that I’m sorry seems insufficient

when I know that I’ll fail You again.

I’m tired of hurting You, of hurting myself.

When will there be an end to

The Breaking?

 

From the Breaking of Your heart to the Breaking of my chains.

Set me free from this trap I’ve fallen into.

A Time To…

I think the one thing that is most harmful to single women who hope to be married one day is that horrible word called “timing.” We rush into unhealthy relationships because we don’t want to wait, or because we think we are ready, when in truth, we are not. I’ve come to learn that even good things can be bad things when done in the wrong timing.

I recently finished the book Lies Young Women Believe by Nancy Leigh DeMoss and Dannah Gresh. Aside from revealing some hurtful lies in a candid, compassionate manner, this book made me question something I had never really thought about before. Nancy and Dannah surmised that the tree that caused mankind’s downfall was probably meant for good… if Adam and Eve would have waited for God’s timing to enjoy the fruit. But they didn’t wait. And instead of enjoying the blessing that could have been, mankind was faced with a terrible curse. That my friend, is what is happening to us. We’re rushing ahead of God’s timing and turning relationships (which are a good thing) into a bad thing.

Ecclesiastes chapter 3 tells us that there is a time for everything – a time to be born and a time to die, a time to plant and a time to uproot, a time to kill and a time to heal, a time to tear down and a time to build, a time to weep and a time to laugh, a time to mourn and a time to dance… and so on. There is a time to be in a relationship and there is a time to embrace singleness. Don’t rush God’s timing. Don’t think that He is wrong. It may just be that He has a blessing beyond imagination waiting just around the corner. One day it will be time to dance with your husband, but until that day, enjoy the freedom of dancing to your own rhythm.

No matter what else may be eluding your grasp, there is one thing that never goes out of season… Now is the time to live.