I’ve avoided reading the book I Kissed Dating Goodbye for years now. I finally broke down and picked it up, thinking I would suffer through it “for research purposes.” Why the negative attitude? I had previously been misinformed by several people who read it that the book was about courting.

Ugh. Courting is a serious turn-off word for me. I think I dislike courting for the same reason many people dislike Christianity. “Well, Christians say they are one thing, and then they turn around and live just like the rest of the world.” The few people who have described courting to me talked like dating was a huge sin, but when they actually told me what courting was, it sounded a whole lot like dating to me. When I pointed that out, I received responses like, “But with courting, you don’t go to any compromising places together,” or “No, because when you court someone, you are actually planning on marrying them.” Okay then, so you just explained to me the difference between dating and stupid dating. It’s the same thing. The only difference is the name you call it. At least, that’s how I see it. But if you have a better definition that can clear things up for me, please let me know, and I will gladly stand corrected.

I haven’t completely finished the book yet, but after reading eleven chapters and not finding anything but a brief reference to the dreaded “C” word, I think it’s safe to assume that the book is not about courting. And according to author Joshua Harris, it’s not even about dating; it’s about living a pure and purposeful singleness. Even if it’s just for a season.

Ironically, the book I’ve been avoiding for most of my teen years is the same book I’ve been searching for most of my teen years. It was like a breath of fresh air to read the writings of someone who actually feels the same way I do about relationships. It was refreshing to realize that the thoughts that caused me to write a book and start this blog are spinning in the hearts of others like me. So now that I’ve discovered that the book already exists, why am I still writing? Well, I guess it’s because there’s still so much to be learned about passionately pursuing God with your singleness. So I’ll keep embracing the moment, living the journey, and sharing my experiences along the way. Who knows? Perhaps my own dance with singleness will encourage you as much as Joshua Harris has encouraged me.