If you read my journal entries here of late, you would probably think I’m bi-polar. In all actuality, I’m on a roller-coaster ride called the publishing process. Take it from a girl in the midst of the drama, writing a book is not for the faint of heart. But here I am, living my dream, and finding that it isn’t always, well… a dream. Sometimes it’s more like a nightmare.
Life is hard work, full of ups and downs and ugly circumstances that will try to get the best of you. Sometimes you’ll sing; sometimes you’ll scream. And sometimes you’ll feel like giving up. Yes, sometimes you’ll want to quit. Sometimes you’ll tell God that you’re done – just plain done – with the situation that is causing you stress. With everything.
I’ve felt like that a lot lately. I’ve been telling God that I’m done. I’m so done. I’m beyond waiting for Beyond Waiting.
God has a way of reminding us of things. And when I cease to live the journey, He never fails to step in and remind me that life is more than a destination. This time, he used a bear – a little bear whose words of wisdom were composed by Phil Collins. Now, I’m not a huge fan of the movie Brother Bear (in fact, the only thing I like about it is that the musical score was written by Phil Collins and it therefore reminds me of my brother), but a brief clip of lyrics jumped out at me the other day and convicted my frustrated heart.
“Tell everybody I’m on my way
and I’m loving every step I take.”
I realized something the moment I heard those words. I’m on my way. And the situation I’m walking through is a necessary part of getting there. And I want to be able to say that I’m loving every step I take, but I can’t say that yet. The steps have been hard. My feet have felt heavy. And the view has been less than spectacular. But I am on my way. And though the journey is long and hard, you’re on your way too. And one day, every step will have been worth it. Let that thought lift your spirits and carry you through the mundane.
And don’t forget to tell everybody you’re on your way and loving every step you take.
We interrupt the normal schedule of this blog to bring you an important message:
God has been doing something in me these past four months. I wrote a book, boldly presented it to a publisher, started a blog, and am slowly sinking into the world of ministry to my generation. It’s been amazing, and I’ve been learning so much. But tonight was one of those nights that God just smacked me in the face. You see, sometimes I get distracted from what I’m supposed to be doing and God has to set me back on track. I was skimming through my new book, A Heart Exposed by Steven James, when I stumbled upon these words:
you dance on the breeze in the evening light, you leap on the curl of a wave, crashing white. you twirl on a star in the darkest night, calling, “Live the journey! Live!”
With four more rousing stanzas, Steven James reminded me of my passion and purpose. It’s the reason I started this blog. God called me to live the journey, and when I looked around at the world I live in, I saw that many of my friends and loved ones weren’t walking in the freedom God called His children to when he told us that He had come to give us life to the full (John 10:10). It was my calling to echo the cry my God shouts, whispers, and screams. “Live the journey. Live.” I regret to say that I haven’t truly been challenging anyone to truly live the journey. I allowed myself to be boxed in by structure and say, “This is the routine.” But I never really gave God much freedom to step outside the bounds of my pre-conceived categories. Not that this has been bad… I simply believe that it could be so much better. God wants to make it so much better.
I’m one of those people who strive on structure, yet I hate when routine gets in the way of the Spirit. But there I was, doing the very thing I hate. I convinced myself that it had to stay the way it was because I had to stick to the singleness theme. But honestly, this isn’t about singleness. It’s not about marriage. It isn’t about dating or courting or whatever else you may use to define relationships. It’s about moving beyond waiting for the things that won’t come until the future and refusing to get caught up in the past. It’s about living the journey. It always has been. Until I let myself get caught up in traditions and routine and whatnot.
But I’m going to warn you that tradition stops right here. I’ll still try to post three times a week, but it’s going to have a little less “Rebekah-shaped structure.” I’m not going to force anything I’m not feeling. I will only post what I feel the Spirit is sharing with me to share with you. I’m going to expose a little bit of my heart on this page. The only goal I now have is to live the journey. And I want to encourage you to live with me.