I thought I moved here to work for Advancing Native Missions, but then I was let in on a secret and found that I’m working for Advancing Native Marriages. It’s one thing to desire a fairy godmother who will come prepare you for a ball; it’s entirely different to have a bunch of older, married men trying to find a husband for you. Remember that whole “when the timing is right” thing? Well, now is not the right timing. I’m not ready for someone to shove Prince Charming through the doors of this office building.

When I encourage young women to move “beyond waiting,” I simply ask them not to look for Prince Charming, but to let their Prince stumble upon them; but for me personally, I’d like Prince Charming to hold off for a couple of years. For some reason, I can’t seem to beat that into the heads of my coworkers. They seem to think that it’s their God-given duty to find a husband for me.

“We’ll find you a young pastor in South East Asia…”

Well, that’s going to be a long-distance relationship.

“I know this missionary in Ukraine…”

Are you going to move him over here?

“This is our friend from Texas. He has a son…”

Why is everyone trying to send me away?

“There must be a large pool of young men in your church…”

Yes, I live in a college town. No, I’m not out looking for a husband.

And my personal favorite: “Don’t you think your life would be better with a significant other?”

(Pardon me while I burst out in a fit of laughter.) The thing is, I already have a “significant other.” His name is Jesus and He is the only Person who will ever give my life significance. So, people, stop pushing your cheap imitations at me; I already have the real thing.