I was sitting at the lunch table when one of my coworkers voiced, “I know this guy…”
Sometimes I really tire of working at Advancing Native “Marriages.” Strike one. It’s a set-up.
“He’s from Missouri,” my coworker explained.
Strike two. 450 miles from home is far enough, thank you very much.
“He’s a youth pastor, and he needs a wife to straighten him out.”
Strike three, and you’re out! Sorry, slugger, but it appears that baseball is not your sport.
As much as I like the musical Guys and Dolls, I’m not a fan of “marrying the man today and changing his ways tomorrow.” I’m pretty sure it doesn’t work like that. So if you tell me that this potential match needs “straightened out”… See ya. (Oh, and P.S… If the only kind of guy you can come up with needs that much work, please keep your suggestions to yourself.)
People don’t fix people; only God can do that. Even if I was remotely interested in meeting this guy, there is no way I would be able to “straighten him out.” And my guess is that trying to do so would probably result in a pretty miserable relationship.
I’m fully convinced that a woman’s single years are not meant to be spent looking for a man to complete her; they are meant for her to take the time to realize how whole and alive she can be in Jesus. I believe that God gives us these years to learn to depend on Him alone so we can lean on Him throughout the rest of our lives.
I’ll leave it up to God to straighten out my coworker’s young friend. And since He is the only One who can fix the messes we’ve made of our lives, I’ll leave Him to be the only Matchmaker in my love life.
Beyond Waiting 
Good for you. For many years before meeting my hubby, I struggled with falling in love with less-than-suitable men. They were always nice and decent, but none loved Jesus. I was so afraid to let God be in charge of that since I was convinced that by my late-20’s the only single Christian men were the ones that wore tennis socks pulled up to their knees, with white tennis shoes and acne. However, after a long term rel’p ended, I decided that was the last one. I gave the matchmaking to God, not believing that I would actually meet someone suitable. I set my sights on other things and got on with life.
God sure has a sense of humour! He matched me up with a Christian man who I was actually attracted to! (amazing, right?? ha …) We will celebrate our 10th anniversary this summer. Although things are rarely perfect, I am so glad that I finally gave that privilege to God – to choose a mate for me.
It’s delightful to read that you are learning how full and alive life is in Jesus as a single woman. You are a great example to other young, single women.
Thank you so much for your encouraging comment. It truly made my day. I’m so glad that God did eventually give you the man of your (and His) dreams, and that you’ve been able to celebrate 10 beautiful years together. What a testimony! I pray that there will be many more years to follow. God bless you!