Boys are icky.
That has been my mantra for nearly twenty years now. I use it constantly. One might even say that it’s a Rebekah Snyder original.
Whenever someone asks me about boyfriends or marriage, I just tell them, “Boys are icky.” It’s much easier than launching into an explanation of Beyond Waiting and how God has called me to five years and forever. Of course, it’s also easily misunderstood.
The latest response to my cherished phrase was, “God will change your mindset. And He will change the boys.”
I had to smile because it was a cute answer, but I don’t think God will be changing my mindset because I’m pretty sure He gave it to me. And although I may one day fall in love with one of them, boys will always be “icky” (but that’s okay because girls are icky too).
The thing is, we live in a world that pushes relationships. The message we’ve heard most clearly by the time we’ve reached our teen years is that our lives are not complete without a man… The story doesn’t begin until you’ve found Prince Charming… You are incomplete because you’re missing your “other half.”… And so the search begins.
Thankfully, I was raised by parents who didn’t buy into that lie and didn’t let me get caught up in it either. My dad was the self-declared king of the He-Man Woman Haters Club during his high school years. He didn’t marry my mom because he needed her to complete him; he was already a complete person. My dad married my mom because he knew it was part of God’s plan for his life. That’s the love story I’m looking to write.
The reason I can say that boys are icky is because I don’t need them to define my security. I’ve come to see myself as God’s perfect creation, whole and complete in Him. I can move Beyond Waiting for icky boys because I’ve already been found by the King of Kings. In Him alone I find my purpose. For Him alone I live and breathe.
(If you were bamboozled by this post, please read my disclaimer.)
So I read your post. 🙂 Cool stuff. Though one thing I’m thinking is that hopefully one day you will be very happy to find and be with a man because I believe that it was a part of God’s original plan for a man and woman to be together exclusively to love each other forever in their lifetimes. So because I know God has that beautiful picture in mind for all of us (male and female alike), I also find it hard to describe males or females as “icky.” Buuut, I understand what you are trying to say. To the rest of us out here listening (or reading what you write), however, it comes across probably a little differently than you intend it to.
Basically, I agree with everything you say. A man should not be your completion. And God should be your priority and Lord. Buuut I believe that having a relationship with someone can be something so beautiful that is shows us another facet to the amazing things God has provided for us here on earth because He loves us. I hope that you will be able to see that when it happens for you.
Thanks so much for your input. I’m sorry if I confused you. The concept of “Beyond Waiting” is not a lifelong commitment to singleness, but a lifetime commitment to seek God above all else. I do want to be married someday. I know God will introduce me to “the one” sometime in the future, but until then, I’m not waiting. I’ve watched too many women spend their single years “hunting” for Prince Charming and miss the purpose that God intended for them in the meantime. I don’t want to do that. So my simple answer to all those “single-haters” is that boys are icky. (I say this while wrinkling my nose and sticking out my tongue in such a way that they can’t help but laugh and forget they were serious about marrying me off.) 😉 Set-ups aside, I look forward to the day God finds it fit to introduce me to that aspect of His love.
Oh, and thanks for being my friend. 😉