Today I was slapped in the face by a ministry update I was reading. It talked of being led by needs rather than calling, and how easy it is to let those needs drive us. The reason it hit me so hard is because I’ve recently realized that I do a whole lot of stuff that needs to be done, but is not what I need to be doing. And I feel like God has been saying to me, “Hey, Rebekah, stop living someone else’s life and just live how I’ve called you to live, already!”

But these needs drive me. They’ve driven me for a long time. It’s easy to think that responding to needs is the right thing to do. But it isn’t. Not always.

As my partner in ministry pointed out in his letter: “Lazarus was dead. He needed life. Jesus had life. Jesus didn’t go. I would have gone!!!”

I would have gone too. Because going is what I do. I go and go and go until I can’t go any farther, and as I lay there panting for breath, God says, “Now will you listen?”

It’s not about the needs; it’s about the call. Even good things can be bad things when they’re not the right things. And sometimes you have to let Lazarus die so a greater purpose can be revealed.

Does it hurt? Oh, yeah. Jesus wept when Lazarus was still in the tomb, and He knew the miracle that was about to occur. I’m stepping out on a limb here, trusting, hoping, praying everything will work out in the end. There’s faith, but not certainty. Trust, but not stability. And that’s okay. Because there is certainty and stability in the fact that I’m being called. And though I can’t see where my next step is going to land, I’m taking the step regardless. And I’m letting myself be led by the call, rather than the needs I see around me.