Today, I’m at a loss for words. It happens from time to time. I keep typing letters onto the page only to delete them and try again. Still I find that my words are insufficient as everything within my heart tries to rush out all at once. The phrases jumble together. Trip over the next. And somehow I can’t seem to say how important it is that you know you are beautiful. That you understand that God doesn’t make mistakes. That you grasp the depth of His love for you.
But the words are missing and and those kinds of words have conditions, anyway. Not that I’m going to change my mind and take them back the next time you make a mistake, but because you will want me to take them back. Because you will argue that if I only knew who you are… What you’ve done…
I could say it all day in a thousand words or more, but until you believe them for yourself, my words are meaningless. Empty. I may be talking to someone in the world, but I’m certainly not talking to you.
Oh, but I am talking to you. You and you only. You’re the one who needs to hear it. And how I wish I could take your face in my hands like the preschoolers I spend time with every weekday afternoon. “Hey you,” I’d say, “you’re worth it. You are one incredible human being.” And I would mean it from the bottom of my heart. “Hey you,” I’d say, “you’re beautiful. You are one breathtaking masterpiece.” And I would pray those words wouldn’t bounce off of the carefully crafted wall you’ve built to protect yourself – the one that is actually harming you instead.
You’re the only one who can penetrate that wall. You’re the only one whose words are loud enough to force truth into the darkened corners of your wounded spirit. So please, take it from someone who sees what you are somehow missing, and tell yourself that you’re worth it.
God doesn’t make mistakes? He made me unable to believe he is good – sounds like a royal screw-up to me. The dude is a sick, twisted, masochistic, self-argrandizing, narcissist.
If this is the best he could come up with – that alone is proof there is no reason to worship him. If we are created in his image – which I do believe, by the way – it says MUCH more about him than us. It is also every reason to destroy all of creation – and God – before the demented idiot can cause any more damage, pain, and suffering.
What we got, he set in motion. He was the cause. I REFUSE to take responsibility for Gods screw-up.
I hate feeling like this – yet the logic is sound. Can you convince me otherwise?
I don’t know what you’ve faced in life that left you feeling like this, but I am truly and completely sorry that you can’t see the truth in these words. The God you described is not the God of the Bible. Not the God who lovingly breathed this world into being. We are created in His image. We are glorious beings. But we’re also fallen beings. We create our own misery by straying from God’s perfect plan.
But like I said in the above post, I could argue with you all day, but until you are willing to embrace these words as truth, you cannot be convinced otherwise. And I don’t think you need an argument; I think you need to be loved as God commanded us to love one another. And I’m sorry that someone failed you on that charge. I’m sorry for the circumstance that birthed such bitterness in you. And I pray that you’ll find that you are worth it and, more importantly, that God is worth it.
Life doesn’t come without pain, but there is Someone who will carry us through it if only we will allow Him to hold us.