So, I’ve been pretty quiet on most of these guest posts, content to let others share their dreams without my commentary, but I feel like this one needs to have something said about it. Because when I read Amy’s post, my jaw hit the floor and all I could say was, “Whoa.” When I asked a few blogger friends to share about their dreams, I never expected any of them to delve into a nightmare. But I admire Amy’s bravery. I love that she pursued this dream that so many of us would be too afraid to pursue. And I love that she’s here today to encourage us that sometimes our “nightmares” are part of the beautiful dream God is creating of our lives.
I get a warm and fuzzy feeling when I read about people’s dreams. They want to write a book they’ve been thinking about since they were 6 or they’d like to move to Africa as a missionary or they can’t wait to quit their job and finally be a pilot. Most desperately want to live out their dream. But the story of one of my God-given dreams was more like a nightmare I didn’t care to see to fruition.
I had always been on the straight and narrow. I was the good-girl. The honor student. One of the first of my friends to get married. My husband and I enjoyed seven years together until things started imploding. Many circumstances led me into an emotional affair that was quickly uncovered but slowly untangled.
Years past and I finally separated myself from this person, my husband and I had repaired our marriage through God’s leading and I thought I could quietly move on. God had other plans.
He gave me a literal dream one night. In it, it was clear that I had moved on but my job wasn’t done until I shared my story. They very last thing I wanted to do was share my story. No one knew about the emotional affair besides my husband and three or four close friends. My family had no clue.
I shared this dream with my close friend and for months and months, I would talk about writing about what happened. But fear gripped me. I didn’t want to ruin my good-girl image and was sure stop any influence I thought I had. Family would scoff at me and friends would leave me. I couldn’t imagine how coworkers that found out may react.
Sharing my deepest, darkest secret sounded like playing out my worst nightmare. And it’s the exact thing God wanted me to do.
Sometimes our dreams and goals aren’t self-prescribed. And sometimes, they aren’t pleasant and fun. But when dreams are God-given, it’s exactly what we need.
I published my eBook Entangled last November and it ended up playing out like a fairytale. The burden of this hidden sin I had been tormented with was lifted off my shoulders and my friends, family and even coworkers rallied around me like I never had experienced. Through the book, people’s eyes have been open and perhaps, some marriages have been spared.
Perhaps you’re like me and scared to death of the dream God has given you. Maybe it sounds like a nightmare you don’t care to experience. If I could say one thing, it’d be to jump and jump big. Sure, you’ll still experience fear and anxiety but when you wake up? You’ll realize your nightmare was a fairytale and God was waiting to sweep you off your feet all along.
Amy Bennett is a recovering perfectionist and lover of God. She is wife to her police officer husband, Scott and mommy to two beautiful girls, Emma and Lexi and hopefully one handsome boy soon. They reside in South Carolina, in a suburb of Charlotte, North Carolina with their two dogs Mattie and Tucker and a picket fence to hold them all in. Amy spends her day writing code for a bank and her evenings writing blog posts at Permission to Peruse.