The Blinds Around My Heart

I remember when I first moved to Virginia and said to myself, “I will never tire of seeing these mountains.” Well, it hasn’t even been two  years and the view from my bedroom window is something I scarcely notice anymore. The Blue Ridge Mountains have become so familiar that I’ve simply stopped seeing them. Most days, I don’t even open the blinds.

Sadly, they’re not the only thing I take for granted.

I find it interesting that the God who created something as vital as the air I breathe is so easy to overlook. Sometimes I get so caught up in other things that I cease to notice God’s presence. But just like those mountains looming in the distance, God is never far away. All I have to do is open the blinds that darken my heart.

In the midst of the mundane, God is offering us glimpses of the divine. He’s always there, and because of this, we often fail to truly see Him. And then there are days where we cannot help but marvel at the greatness of our God. Today was one of those days for me.

As I’m preparing to leave for India in six short days, I was talking to a coworker about how my brother who lives over there is going to come meet me in Mumbai. Somehow, in the course of our conversation, I mentioned his missionary friend whom my mom has “adopted” as another son. It’s been a of couple years since I’ve started calling Raju my brother, and I remarked how badly I’d like to meet him. Later in the day, Mom called… And as it turns out, both of my brothers will be making the trip down to meet me next week.

Some people would call that coincidence, but me… I looked up and saw the Mountain. This was a God-ordained blessing meant solely to bless my socks off. It was a touch from God that I couldn’t deny. Though some days I leave the blinds shut, today they were thrown wide open. And I basked in the wonder of the sheer awesomeness of my God.

It’s Really Okay to be Single

One of my coworkers recently told me about seeing the new X-men movie. “So, uh, what movies have you seen lately?” he asked upon finishing his summary of the movie.

I shrugged. “I haven’t seen anything since Tangled came out.”

“So, no dates then?”

I love how subtle my coworkers are/aren’t about digging into my personal life.

Apparently most people find it shocking to find that a young woman actually enjoys being single. I especially love the slack-jawed stare from middle schoolers (who seem to think that twenty is ridiculously old). “You’ve never had a boyfriend?”

“Nope. Never.”

“You’re weird.” (Usually it’s only the boys who say that. The girls tend to be a little more subtle, though in the end, it’s the same message.)

Okay, I’m not weird (am I?), I’m just stubborn to a fault. Personally, I blame the genetics. When my dad was in high school, he was the self-declared king of the He-man Woman Haters Club. Though that was a joke (I think), he honestly did believe that God had called him to remain single… Then he met my mom. And the rest, as they say, is history.

I have a one-up on my dad. I have every intention of getting married someday. I just don’t feel like that day has to be in the very near future (although time seems to pass quickly these days). I don’t understand what the rush is. I don’t understand why people are all too eager to “help” set me up.

Though my coworkers don’t seem too convinced, I’m honestly not looking. I don’t feel like it’s my job to search for Prince Charming (and it’s most assuredly not their job either). God has called me to live the journey and embrace the moments. I can’t do that when I’m constantly on the lookout for “the one”.

So, no, I’ve never had a boyfriend. And, no, I’m not ashamed of that fact. Although you might think it sounds totally cliché, I’m perfectly happy with having Jesus be the only man in my life right now. Contrary to popular belief, it’s really okay to be single.

Remembering the Story

Since my trip to India embarks in two weeks, I spent this last week completing my assignment of preparing my personal story. It’s simple, really, to dig back into the past and remember what God has done for me. How He stepped down from the heavens and made Himself incredibly, breathtakingly real in my eyes. I realized last night that I should do this more often, for it never fails to fill me with wonder.

I don’t have a dark, ugly past that haunts me. I was born and raised in a Christian home by parents who have done a marvelous job in teaching me what unconditional love is, and more importantly, Who unconditional love is. But while I knew all sorts of things about Jesus, I never really knew Him. I knew the Sunday School answers like I knew the answers on my history tests. Although I had given my heart to Jesus when I was a small child, I didn’t fully grasp the idea of what a relationship with Him should look like.

Then, in God’s providence, I opened a book and read the words: “In a busy, noisy world, a little girl walks onto a dark stage and begins to perform.” As her story unfolded before my eyes, I found that it was my own. And when God showed up and invited that little girl to dance with Him, I found myself accepting the invitation.

In that moment, God became so real and alive and vibrant to me. Since that day, I’ve found myself captivated by the thrill of God’s Divine Dance. There’s such a joyous freedom in knowing that I don’t have to perform or pretend any longer. God accepts me just as I am. He loves me in spite of my flaws.

God has given me a story that is completely my own, but so closely resembles what He wants to do for every other person on the planet. If your story hasn’t yet been written, check out the invitation God offers you today. And if you know exactly what story I’m talking about, I invite you to once again lose yourself in the wonder of what God has done for you.

Interrupted, Redirected, and Fulfilled

I finished a book the other night – a book I never even wanted to write. The book that started this blog. When God called me to this Beyond Waiting journey, I fiercely resisted. In case you don’t know, this girl wanted to be a novelist. Still does want to be a novelist. And here God was asking me to set that aside and pursue a different dream. His dream.

There was arguing, and praying, and begging, and crying, but God won in the end (He always does). Now here I am, a year later, staring at the full manuscript of a book. No gaps, no holes, but a completed (albeit rough) draft of Beyond Waiting. And I’m amazed. I’m amazed that I feel so much pride over something I had no desire to be a part of. I’m amazed that this journey I avoided has become one of the greatest things that ever happened to me. (I’m finding that this tends to happen a lot – the things I spend the most time resisting are the things that become most dear to my heart.)

I sit at the feet of the God who interrupts, redirects, and fulfills my wildest dreams and I weep with the wonder of it all. He has taken this dream I was sure didn’t exist and moved it to the forefront of my life, and now I see that it has been there all along – hidden within the deepest crevices of my heart.

I think that God does this with our lives more often than we care to admit. He sees the dreams we overlook, and He calls them out of His children. I truly believe that God wants to expand your boundaries as He has mine this past year. I believe He is presenting opportunities in your life. Doors for you to step through. Trails for you to blaze. Don’t be afraid to follow wherever the Father calls you. Let Him expand your vision. Allow Him to be the God who interrupts, redirects, and fulfills your wildest dreams. I promise you, you won’t regret it.

Eat Your Veggies

This may be the strangest revelation I’ve ever had, but it just dawned on me that sometimes God makes His children eat their veggies.

I know what you’re thinking: “That Rebekah. I always knew she was strange, but it looks like she’s finally snapped.” Well, before you unsubscribe and click that little red “x” in the corner, let me ask you this: Doesn’t God want what is best for His children?

It seems to me that, just as a parent would offer a spoonful of greens to a reluctant toddler, God often puts things on our plates that make us think twice about His goodness. But anyone who wants God’s best for their life has to learn to eat their veggies.

I’ve been reading the book of Job lately. If you think you’ve got it bad, you ought to pick up your Bible and turn there. What Job faced was like every single vegetable in the world stirred up into one, big smoothie. It was nasty. It was hard to swallow. But in the end, Job was blessed more greatly than he had ever been in his life (and Job had been a pretty blessed man up until the smoothie incident).

Much like vegetables, our life situations vary. There are the vegetables that really aren’t as bad as they look. Those are the times we get ourselves all worked up about something only to find that there was nothing to be anxious about. Then there are the vegetables that grow on you with time. I’m sure there have been situations in your life where the pain seems to fade throughout the years. Of course, there are always a few vegetables that are nasty no matter how you cook them. Those are the really icky situations in our lives. But just like those vegetables your mother once force-fed down your throat, the situations God allows into our lives are for a purpose; they help us grow.

Life gives you sunshine and rain, roses and thorns. And sometimes you have to eat your veggies before you can savor the ice cream. (And, who knows, you may grow up to be a salad lover like me.)

The Language of Common History

The other day, I wanted to write my brother about something that’s happening in his life. Instead of inboxing him, I wrote directly on his facebook wall, knowing that no one but he would be able to discern the meaning of the statement. Since my words could only be deciphered by a long history of inside jokes, I wasn’t too surprised when another friend commented on the post to ask what on earth I was talking about.

A common history creates a language all  its own. You can speak without words or with words that make no sense to third-party observers. Similarly to the secret “love language” I share with my brother, I find that I communicate with God in a way that only He and I understand. Just like I wanted to write my brother and let him know I was thinking about him, I’m often amazed by the simple ways God weaves His love notes into my life.

My friend Emily got me one of those Willow Tree figurines for my birthday. You know, those faceless statues that you can find in quaint little gift shops across America.

“She reminded me of you,” Emily said, “Because she has brown hair, bare feet, and she’s a dancer.”

Normally, I’m not all that impressed by these figurines, but this one was different. I felt as if I had seen that image somewhere before (and it wasn’t in the quaint little gift shops).

Ever since I read Shannon Kubiak Primicerio’s The Divine Dance, I’ve been enthralled by a dancing God. It’s the language God and I speak to each other. Still, I’ve always envisioned Jesus as a Carpenter. I think of the way He molds and shapes us into the image He envisioned us to be from the beginning. And I felt as if that image had just been placed in my hands, a permanent reminder of the person God is continually shaping me to be.

Though not even Emily understands the significance of her gift, that dancer figurine sits on my bookshelf and, with a language understood by none but God and I, beckons me into the greatest dance of all time.

You Must Be Happy

A friend of mine once asked me what I had been up to and, when I told him I had been writing a lot, he replied, “You must be happy.” I smiled, remembering that I had once told him I can only write when I’m happy. It’s true. Sort of. Actually, I can only write when I’ve been walking in perfect harmony with Jesus. Otherwise, the things in my heart get so jumbled up that they don’t make any sense when they pour out onto the page.

That’s why there’s been a lack of posts on this blog lately. I’ve gotten so busy that I’ve failed to make time for God. Then I sit down to write for the sake of writing, rather than writing to worship. It’s really no wonder the page remains blank.

Well, last night, I finally grabbed the right notebook and I journaled a prayer to God. He put things into perspective for me – like He always does. And now I’m writing. Boy, am I writing. I can’t keep my pen from the page. And it truly is like I told my friend. I only write when I’m happy. Because my heart is never satisfied until it’s resting in God’s hands.

So if you’re tired, busy, overwhelmed, or lacking creativity, I’d recommend not saving Jesus for a last resort. If you have to make time for just one thing, I’d start with Him. Somehow, He makes everything else fall into place.

When God Becomes Too Familiar

Every time I turn a corner, I’m running into the same message. It’s starting to freak me out. “Okay, God, I get it. I get it!” But apparently He doesn’t agree because it just keeps popping up. In one way or another it hits me. Different messages, different scriptures, but the same theme: There is danger in letting God become too familiar.

Too familiar? Is that even possible? I mean, He’s God. You could study Him for a million years and still not figure Him out. But haven’t you ever reached a point where those simple Biblical truths start to feel more like trite Sunday school answers? Haven’t you ever read your Bible and thought to yourself, “I know, I know.” Haven’t you ever reached a point where you cease to marvel at the greatness of God because it’s so easy to take for granted? Perhaps I’m selfish to say this, but I certainly hope you have. Otherwise, I’m the worst disciple on the planet because I’m there right now. After almost twenty years of walking with Jesus, I’ve let Him fall into a dangerously comfortable place in my life.

Think of how fascinating it is to meet new people.  Not that awkward “I don’t know you” stage, but the part where you’re actually starting to like them and may even consider them friends. Every conversation you have is new and exciting because you’re hearing things you haven’t heard before. There’s some sort of wonder in experiencing life together for the first time.

That’s where I want to be with Jesus right now. I want to recapture some of the wonder in getting to know Him more. I’m sick of letting Him be commonplace in my life. So I’ll take a deep breath and start at the beginning. “It’s nice to meet you, God. My name’s Rebekah…”

Unearthing Life

A friend of mine recently wrote a blog post about unearthing new ground. Now, maybe it’s partially because I witnessed some of these struggles Mandy wrote of uprooting, but I found myself deeply moved by her post. You can read the whole thing here, but this is what I got out of it:

I’m often amazed by the things God uses to teach His children. What was supposed to be a peaceful day working in her garden turned into a time of healing and freedom for my friend. As she cleared the ground for her garden, God did a work in her heart, revealing things she had long kept buried, digging them out of her spirit as she dug things out of her garden.

What Mandy found in the end was life. Life in her garden and life in her heart. In her own words: “Underneath all the pain, the disappointment, the lies, there is life.” 

I truly believe that God wants all of us to have that life that Mandy unearthed in her garden. He wants all of us to be free of the pain and the lies that are rooted into the soil of our lives. Jesus came that we might have life – abundant life. To the full. Overflowing. But so often we find ourselves trapped by past hurts.

Today is the day to release the disappointments, to relinquish the bitterness, to restore the hope that we have lost long ago. There’s a piece of life that God wants to unearth in your spirit today. So open your heart to the hands of the Master Gardener and allow Him to remove some of the weeds that have choked out the beauty in your soul.

“Today I have given you the choice between life and death, between blessings and curses. Now I call on heaven and earth to witness the choice you make. Oh, that you would choose life, so that you and your descendants might live!” -Deuteronomy 30:19

With a Writer’s Passion

It always hits me in the mornings. I cannot even count the number of times my cappuccino has grown cold as my pen dances across the page, or how many times I’ve scrambled to make it to work on time after being held spellbound by a scene that unfolds in my mind.

Every writer lives with a handful of characters that scream at her like pesky children – waking her up at night, interrupting her quiet times, and grabbing her by the shirt tail at the most inconvenient opportunities. But she cannot deny them for, unlike a child, they will not remember what it was that they wanted after an hour has passed. She must capture the moment when it comes or risk losing it forever.

But then I think… Shouldn’t every moment of my life be just like those inspired writing moments? Shouldn’t I embrace life with such intensity that I cannot imagine the passing of time as each scene plays out before my eyes?

Most days I rush through life, constantly glancing at the clock, counting the seconds until one event or another.  I forget that life is not made up of great events, but of little moments. And each tick of the clock is a moment I’ve wasted being caught up in the busyness of life.

Oh, but for the heart of a child – to embrace each moment with such passion and wonder. To allow the simple things to stir my heart and bring a smile to my face. Oh, but that I would embrace each moment of my life with my writer’s passion. This is my reminder today to live the journey. Live.