Author Archives: Rebekah Roper

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04/13/2011

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Fairytale Fallacies

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Shortage of Mr. Rights

“Is that your new boyfriend?” Sam asked.

I sighed. “How can I have a new boyfriend when I never had an old one?”

An eyebrow cocked, warning me that I was about to be informed that I am one, strange girl. “What?”

At least this time I wasn’t alone. My friend in the “never-been-dated” sisterhood shook her head at the boy’s outburst. “I keep telling him I don’t need a boyfriend.”

“What’s the matter?” he challenged. “Can’t find a guy? I could find one for you.”

“It’s not that there’s a shortage of guys; it’s that there’s a shortage of the right one.”

I loved her response. There’s a shortage of Mr. Rights in this world.

Maybe you believe differently, but I really don’t think that God created a handful of guys that are compatible with me and said, “Here, take your pick.” I truly believe that He made one who was specifically designed with me in mind. And I believe that one day, He will nudge this guy to the forefront of my life and say, “Here, Rebekah, pick this one.”

We have a tendency to take all the men in our lives and line them up in our minds, comparing them to one another. But the wrong guy isn’t a good standard to measure other guys against. Even the wrong guy can look like the right guy when compared to the worst guy.

That kind of comparing is dangerous because it leads to compromise. You start to say to yourself, “Well, he’s better than so-and-so.” But I don’t want someone better; I want someone best.

So pass on by the multitudes, remembering that it’s not just any guy you’re looking for… You’re looking for the right one.

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04/11/2011

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Embrace Truth

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Never Come Back

Most people call it spring; here at Advancing Native Missions we call it “missionary season.” There’s a missionary couple staying at my house, and I think it’s safe to say that the wife is quite taken with me. Not a day goes by that I’m not told that I’ll soon be heading to Ghana in a suitcase. It started off as a five-month stay, then she started saying five years. The way it keeps fluctuating up and down makes me want to avoid Ghana (even in the conventional way) because if my new friend has her way, I’ll never come back.

Never come back. That’s a frightening phrase, isn’t it? Most of us are quite comfortable inside of our carefully crafted boxes. The thought of stepping out is disconcerting enough, but to think that we may never come back?… It’s enough to send us retreating into our little cubby holes for the rest of our lives.

I think that’s why so many of us are afraid to follow God’s calling on our lives. We’re afraid that He will lead us to a place of no return. And our fears are not altogether unfounded. God often does call His children to “never come back,” but what we tend to forget is that the place to which He is leading us is much better than the place we now stand.

So take a deep breath, and step outside of the box you’ve been living in for too long. Allow God to lead you to glorious places of which you’ve not yet begun to imagine. And once you’re there, never come back.

Oh, and before she leaves the country, someone please check that missionary’s suitcase!

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04/08/2011

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Fairytale Fallacies

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A Few Disclaimers

Apparently, I’m pretty skilled at contradicting myself. Or at least appearing to do so. Since my last post caused such a stir, I’d like to take a moment to clarify a few things. The phrase “Boys are icky” is not a personal attack on men, but my simple way of brushing off set-ups. When said with a smile and a wrinkle of the nose, it can be a great way to turn an awkward situation into a roomful of laughter. You should try it sometime.

Though it’s a pretty easy brush-off, being “icky” isn’t necessarily a bad thing in my book. Some of my best friends are guys – icky, gross, wonderful guys whom I love very dearly.

Now that we’ve got that cleared up, let me assure you that “Beyond Waiting” does not mean “Forever Single.” Shortly after I had finished my first draft of Beyond Waiting, one of my coworkers congratulated me on my uncommon commitment to celibacy. I just stared at him blankly before offering an amused smile. I wonder how he would have responded if I would have told him I’m planning on having six kids some day.

I do want to marry. I do dream of Prince Charming. But then I wake up and realize that the day is brimming with possibilities. So I leave Prince Charming in the dream world and resolve to live the moments. One of those moments will one day inevitably involve meeting my future husband, but I can’t ignore the other moments in hopes of embracing that one.

Beyond Waiting is about a season of singleness that God has given every human being as a gift. Some of us stay in that season longer than others, but length isn’t the issue here. The journey of Beyond Waiting is all about your heart.

If God has granted you permission to enter a new stage of life, that’s great, but God asked me for five years and those years are not yet up. So I turn away from the set-ups and fix my eyes on the only One who has the authority to tell me when the time is right.

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04/07/2011

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Boys are Icky

Boys are icky.

That has been my mantra for nearly twenty years now. I use it constantly. One might even say that it’s a Rebekah Snyder original.

Whenever someone asks me about boyfriends or marriage, I just tell them, “Boys are icky.” It’s much easier than launching into an explanation of Beyond Waiting and how God has called me to five years and forever. Of course, it’s also easily misunderstood.

The latest response to my cherished phrase was, “God will change your mindset. And He will change the boys.”

I had to smile because it was a cute answer, but I don’t think God will be changing my mindset because I’m pretty sure He gave it to me. And although I may one day fall in love with one of them, boys will always be “icky” (but that’s okay because girls are icky too).

The thing is, we live in a world that pushes relationships. The message we’ve heard most clearly by the time we’ve reached our teen years is that our lives are not complete without a man… The story doesn’t begin until you’ve found Prince Charming… You are incomplete because you’re missing your “other half.”…  And so the search begins.

Thankfully, I was raised by parents who didn’t buy into that lie and didn’t let me get caught up in it either. My dad was the self-declared king of the He-Man Woman Haters Club during his high school years. He didn’t marry my mom because he needed her to complete him; he was already a complete person. My dad married my mom because he knew it was part of God’s plan for his life. That’s the love story I’m looking to write.

The reason I can say that boys are icky is because I don’t need them to define my security. I’ve come to see myself as God’s perfect creation, whole and complete in Him. I can move Beyond Waiting for icky boys because I’ve already been found by the King of Kings. In Him alone I find my purpose. For Him alone I live and breathe.

(If you were bamboozled by this post, please read my disclaimer.)

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04/04/2011

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Fairytale Fallacies

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Life Begins Now

7 AM, the usual morning lineup:
Start on the chores and sweep ’til the floor’s all clean
Polish and wax, do laundry, and mop and shine up
Sweep again, and by then it’s like 7:15.

And so I’ll read a book
Or maybe two or three
I’ll add a few new paintings to my gallery
I’ll play guitar and knit
And cook and basically
Just wonder when will my life begin?

Thus begins Disney’s Tangled. These words launch Rapunzel into the adventure of a lifetime – the only adventure our heroine has ever experienced.

I find it interesting that Rapunzel was still waiting for her life to begin at sixteen years of age. It’s easy to assume that her life couldn’t begin until Flynn rescued her from the tower, but if you’ll look again, you’ll see that Rapunzel was the one who let herself down from the tower.

So here is the irony of Rapunzel’s opening song: she was always the one who held the power to make her life begin. It wasn’t that life couldn’t begin, but that it wouldn’t begin because it was fear that kept Rapunzel in that tower all those years.

I believe that many of us are just like Rapunzel, staring out the window at an unfamiliar world, wondering when our lives will begin. Some of us will stare out that window our entire lives, never daring to leave the prison we call home. Some of us will never take the first step, never dare to leave the tower and feel the cool grass on our toes.

I pray that you will be one who will pursue your dreams. The world is unfolding before you. The possibilities are endless. What will you choose to do with your life?

It doesn’t matter how young (or old) you are; it’s never too early (or late) for life to begin. No matter how long you’ve waited or how many mistakes you’ve made, today is a new day.

So come now, Rapunzel, let down your hair. Climb down from your tower and let the adventure begin.

Life begins now.

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03/30/2011

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Paradoxes and Mysteries

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God is Weak?

“God is weak. And for this reason I love Him.”

I stared at my friend. Blinked a couple of times. Maybe his English was failing him because I had certainly never thought of God as being weak. “What exactly do you mean?” I pressed.

With a little further explanation I came to realize that he meant exactly what he said. God is weak. He is weak because His love makes Him vulnerable.  He is weak because His creation is capable of breaking His heart. And for this reason I love Him.

I’d never really considered it a weakness, but I’m familiar with the depths of God’s sacrificial love. I know that nothing else would compel Him to endure the cross for me. And I know it didn’t stop at the cross.

God cares so deeply about every little detail of my life that He grieves when I grieve. When Lazarus died and the family was in mourning, what did Jesus do? He wept. He cried right along with those who were hurting. And I’m fully convinced that He was hurting too.

I grew up knowing that Jesus loves me – that He catches every fallen tear and knows the number of hairs on my head. I was raised with a God who loves. The god my friend once served was quite different. It was because of his experience with a god who lords his power over his creation that my friend found himself attracted to God’s vulnerability. This is why he could look me in the eye and say, “God is weak. And for this reason I love Him.”

I serve a God who concerns Himself with sparrows just so He can say that I’m worth much more than them. I serve a God who loves with such fierce passion that He is moved to tears. I serve a God who would give His life as a ransom for many, even knowing that the majority would reject Him in the end. For this reason, He may be considered weak; but it is for this reason I love Him.

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03/23/2011

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Embrace Truth

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Who is Jesus to You?

“This is not a church; it’s a hospital.”

This is what I was told by a missionary friend last night. When you don’t feel good, you take a pill. We go to church every Sunday to get our “Jesus fix”, but most of us don’t even know who Jesus truly is.

To the world, Jesus is a fad – a name that Kesha wears on her necklace even though the Jesus I know doesn’t fit into the singer’s “sick and sexy-fied” lifestyle. But how can we expect the world to know the character of Jesus when even our Christians often don’t understand Him? 

A 45-year-old woman who had been raised in church was asked to disciple a new believer, she claimed she didn’t know how. When my friend encouraged her to simply talk about her lover, the woman responded, “Jesus loves me?”

And I wonder… How does a woman spend 45 years in church and not know that Jesus loves her? How does a person spend every Sunday morning listening to the greatest fairytale of all time and not be moved by it? How do we get it in our minds that we can go to church and get just enough of Jesus to help us make it through the week?

God shouldn’t be a drug; He should be the very air we breathe. We need Him. We need the relationship for which we were created.

Did you know that Jesus loves you, or is that simply a song you learned in Sunday school? Did you know that God rejoices over you with singing as a mother sings over her child? Did you know that God is jealous for you as a lover is jealous for his beloved? Do you know these things, or have you simply allowed them to go in one ear and out the other?

Is Jesus just a necklace to complete your “sick and sexy-fied” outfit, or is He the lover who holds your hand and walks with you through all of life’s ups and downs? Who is Jesus to you?

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03/20/2011

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Sing-Along Scriptures

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Confident Humility

“Those who are sure of themselves are humble.”

The words that my newest missionary friend shared with me seemed almost contradictory, and yet that statement was the most accurate explanation I’d ever heard of humility. Those who are sure of themselves are humble.

When we think of one who is sure of himself, we automatically think cocky, but a cocky person isn’t truly confident in his abilities. If he was, he wouldn’t find the need to perform.

Those who are sure of themselves are humble because they’ve no need to one-up another person. They find no purpose in exalting themselves over others. Insecurity is what rears its ugly head at the sign of competition, but those who are sure of themselves are humble.

I think most people have a skewed vision of humility. We’ve somehow gotten the idea that being humble is doubting our abilities, but it’s really quite the opposite. True humility is expressed when we are confident and secure in the way God has gifted us, knowing that we have no need to impress anyone.

Check out the following passage from John 13:

“Jesus knew that the Father had put all things under his power, and that he had come from God and was returning to God; so he got up from the meal, took off his outer clothing, and wrapped a towel around his waist. After that, he poured water into a basin and began to wash his disciples’ feet, drying them with the towel that was wrapped around him.” (vs. 3-5)

As my friend pointed out to me the other night, Jesus knew that He had all the power in the universe. This passage doesn’t say, “Even though Jesus knew, He did this.” It doesn’t even say “Jesus knew, but He still chose to wash the feet of His disciples.” No. It says, “Jesus knew…so.” He washed their feet because He knew that all power was His under God. So you see, those who are sure of themselves are humble.

God wants you to embrace the talents He has given to you. He wants you to be confident of your ability in Him. And He wants you to walk in the humility that only comes when you are secure in the person He created you to be.

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03/18/2011

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Sing-Along Scriptures

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A Work Unfinished

I wrote a post the other day for the missions organization I work with. It was a beautiful story of how God touched the heart of a broken child in Ukraine, but what resonates most deeply in my heart were Valerija’s final words: “God never leaves a work unfinished.”

Wow. It’s almost enough to leave me speechless.

My thoughts instantly turned to a passage in Philippians: “In all my prayers for all of you, I always pray with joy because of your partnership in the gospel from the first day until now, being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.” -Philippians 1:4-6

God will complete the good work He began in you. He never leaves a work unfinished. Right now, the canvas of your life may not look too impressive, but the Master Artist has not yet finished painting. The Carpenter is not yet done carving, the Potter is still shaping.

Yes, I am a work unfinished, but I won’t always be that way. I cling to the promise of beauty from these ashes. I am a masterpiece waiting to emerge from the clay. It may be awhile before the refining process is complete, but it will happen. After all, God never leaves a work unfinished.

“…in the hands of a master carpenter, no piece of wood is safe from becoming a masterpiece.” -Steven James

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03/16/2011

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Live the Journey

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With a Writer’s Passion

It always hits me in the mornings. I cannot even count the number of times my cappuccino has grown cold as my pen dances across the page, or how many times I’ve scrambled to make it to work on time after being held spellbound by a scene that unfolds in my mind.

Every writer lives with a handful of characters that scream at her like pesky children – waking her up at night, interrupting her quiet times, and grabbing her by the shirt tail at the most inconvenient opportunities. But she cannot deny them for, unlike a child, they will not remember what it was that they wanted after an hour has passed. She must capture the moment when it comes or risk losing it forever.

But then I think… Shouldn’t every moment of my life be just like those inspired writing moments? Shouldn’t I embrace life with such intensity that I cannot imagine the passing of time as each scene plays out before my eyes?

Most days I rush through life, constantly glancing at the clock, counting the seconds until one event or another.  I forget that life is not made up of great events, but of little moments. And each tick of the clock is a moment I’ve wasted being caught up in the busyness of life.

Oh, but for the heart of a child – to embrace each moment with such passion and wonder. To allow the simple things to stir my heart and bring a smile to my face. Oh, but that I would embrace each moment of my life with my writer’s passion. This is my reminder today to live the journey. Live.