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Rebekah Roper

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03/13/2012

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The Life I Never Planned

“What do you want to be when you grow up?”

I can’t even count the number of times that question has been asked of me. I was never one of those kids who struggled with an answer. I had my entire life figured out by the time I was eight. I was going to be a missionary and a mother. Eventually my writing dream slipped in there too, and by the time I left home, I was set in my plans.

It’s funny how plans change. How the life I once dreamed of is not the life I am currently living. Right now, I’m a missionary drop-out, soon-to-be-published author of the kind of books I never wanted to write with no husband in the foreseeable future. Sometimes I roll my eyes and say that God mocks me, but honestly… Honestly I’m coming to terms with the fact that God knows best.

That He sees the dreams I never dreamed.

That His dreams are better than my dreams.

If you look at people throughout history – people who are famous for doing extraordinary things – I’m willing to bet they didn’t set out to accomplish those things in the beginning. I’m willing to bet that God interrupted their lives with a purpose that was greater than their imaginings.

Take Mary in the Bible, for instance. I’ll bet all Mary really wanted was to marry Joseph and live happily ever after in her comfortable little life. Then came the angel that declared she would give birth to the Son of God. Say what?

God gave Mary a task that was way, WAY beyond anything she could have ever asked or imagined. And it wasn’t easy. Her community scorned her for what they assumed to be an illegitimate pregnancy, her fiance nearly kicked her to the curb (and who could blame him?), and the last Mary sighting in the Bible is at the foot of the cross where she watched her son suffer a horrible death.

Following God’s call on her life cost Mary everything. It hurt. It hurt so much worse than her comfortable dreams of happily ever after ever could. But I’m willing to bet that if you asked Mary if she wished she had done things differently, she would say no. She wouldn’t have it any other way. She had traded her old dreams for a new promise.

And the miracle was worth the price she paid.

As I find myself thinking things like, “This isn’t how I thought my life would turn out,” and “I never asked for this ~ wouldn’t have chosen this,” I think of Mary. And I ask myself if this miracle will be worth the price I paid. Though sometimes it’s hard to imagine, I trust that my final answer will be yes. Yes, it was so worth it. I’m trading my old dreams for a new promise.

And I wouldn’t have it any other way.

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Rebekah Roper

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03/05/2012

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Tell Everybody I’m On My Way

If you read my journal entries here of late, you would probably think I’m bi-polar. In all actuality, I’m on a roller-coaster ride called the publishing process. Take it from a girl in the midst of the drama, writing a book is not for the faint of heart. But here I am, living my dream, and finding that it isn’t always, well… a dream. Sometimes it’s more like a nightmare.

Life is hard work, full of ups and downs and ugly circumstances that will try to get the best of you. Sometimes you’ll sing; sometimes you’ll scream. And sometimes you’ll feel like giving up. Yes, sometimes you’ll want to quit. Sometimes you’ll tell God that you’re done – just plain done – with the situation that is causing you stress. With everything.

I’ve felt like that a lot lately. I’ve been telling God that I’m done. I’m so done. I’m beyond waiting for Beyond Waiting.

BUT GOD…

God has a way of reminding us of things. And when I cease to live the journey, He never fails to step in and remind me that life is more than a destination. This time, he used a bear – a little bear whose words of wisdom were composed by Phil Collins. Now, I’m not a huge fan of the movie Brother Bear (in fact, the only thing I like about it is that the musical score was written by Phil Collins and it therefore reminds me of my brother), but a brief clip of lyrics jumped out at me the other day and convicted my frustrated heart.

“Tell everybody I’m on my way
and I’m loving every step I take.”

I realized something the moment I heard those words. I’m on my way. And the situation I’m walking through is a necessary part of getting there. And I want to be able to say that I’m loving every step I take, but I can’t say that yet. The steps have been hard. My feet have felt heavy. And the view has been less than spectacular. But I am on my way. And though the journey is long and hard, you’re on your way too. And one day, every step will have been worth it. Let that thought lift your spirits and carry you through the mundane.

And don’t forget to tell everybody you’re on your way and loving every step you take.

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Rebekah Roper

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02/10/2012

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Remember This Day

Have you ever sneaked a peek at the ending of a book before you declared it readable? I’ve never even been tempted to do that. Honestly, I like surprises too much. I mean, I’m the kind of girl who sets her iTunes on shuffle because the normal playlist is too predictable. But there is one story that I wish I could flip ahead a few pages, and that’s the story of my life. But while I can’t fast-forward to the ending, I can read it backwards ~ which is what I’ve been doing the past couple of nights.

It’s amazing what you can find while reading old journal entries. Life looks so different in hindsight. Take the scene where I’m lamenting that I may be doomed to be a loner for the rest of my life. It was a legitimate concern then, but reading it now makes me laugh because I realize that God seriously must have been shaking His head and saying, “Oh Rebekah, you know those two guys you briefly mentioned in that second paragraph? …Yeah.”

Because what I didn’t know on that desperate day was that I had just made initial contact with two people who would soon become some of my dearest friends. But now, here I am, marking the corners of my journal pages with stars and little notes that say, “Remember this day.”

Why? Because I know that, eventually, I’m going to have more of those moments where I can’t see any good in my present situation. I’m going to have more days when I question the way God is working in my life. There are going to be more journal entries riddled with the same frustration that plagues the pages of my past. And if I can just look back and remember the good that came of those seemingly hopeless days, maybe I’ll find the courage to face the unknowns of tomorrow.

If your mind is full of questions to which you feel you’ll never find the answers, I want to encourage you to write them down. Remember this day. Because one day, you’ll be able to read your story backwards. One day, you’ll be able to look back with new eyes and see the things you missed while consumed with the moment. And one day, you’re going to look back and marvel at the wonder of it all.

Oh yes, you’ll want to remember this day.

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Rebekah Roper

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02/06/2012

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What If? What Now?

The past is a funny thing. It shapes our lives and never gives us a chance to go back and change anything ~ no matter how badly we may want to. Last night, I found myself asking a dozen “what if” questions, trying to imagine what my life would be like had I reacted differently in a certain circumstance.

The problem with “what if” is that it generally begins with a regret. And before you know it, you’re in over your head regretting things. Thankfully, my “what ifs” ended with “What if it’s better this way?” and “What if this is what God intended all along?” But that isn’t always how the story goes.

“What ifs” have a tendency to leave us in the past and keep us from enjoying the present. “What ifs” have a habit of leading to more “what ifs.” Before you know it, your life is a serious of doubts. But you see, even in the midst of the hardship and struggle, the questions and uncertainty, God is ultimately in control of our lives. Not one decision escapes His notice. Not one choice slips through the cracks. God knows exactly what is coming around the corner, and we can rest secure in the fact that He is making something beautiful from the ashes of our lives.

I’m not saying you won’t have regrets. Unfortunately, we all make choices we’re not very proud of. There will be moments that you stop to wonder, but you can’t let those questions tie you to the past. Instead of “what if,” ask “what now?” Take the lessons you’ve learned and put them into practice. After all, you can’t change the past, but you can change the future.

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Rebekah Roper

Posted on

01/30/2012

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This is Your Challenge to Dream

This is your challenge to dream. This is your call to aim for something higher than you ever dared to reach. This is your reminder that you were meant for so much more than the shallow existence so many others are willing to passively embrace. Others. Not you. No, you’re so much braver than that. You aren’t going to waste your potential.

What’s the craziest thing you’ve ever thought to do with your life? What’s that one thing that gets your heart racing just to think of it? Did you ever think that maybe it excites you for a reason? Did you ever dare to consider that maybe you were meant to pursue that dream? I don’t care how crazy it sounds. I don’t care who told you that you could never do it. All I want to know is if you ever considered that your big, crazy, seemingly-unattainable dream was God-breathed. Because if it is, it’s not unattainable after all.

I believe that you could achieve so much more than you dare to attempt. I believe that you were meant for so much more than the life you’ve been living. I believe that you have a dream that was meant for more than just dreaming. The danger is not in aiming too high; it’s in aiming too low.

So dream, dear friend, dream. But don’t just dream. Do.

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Rebekah Roper

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01/04/2012

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The Blank Page Before Me

I honestly would have slept right through the welcome of the new year if it hadn’t been for all the people in my house. As far as I’m concerned, it’s just a day like any other. I’ve never gotten caught up in the “brand new start” and resolutions that were meant to be broken. Which is interesting, because this year is a new start if I’ve ever had one.

I didn’t mean to quit my job in December; that’s just when it became clear that I couldn’t stay any longer. My decision shocked a lot of people. My friends, co-workers, parents… even myself. You try dreaming of something for twelve years and then realize God is calling you to something much bigger. That the dream you clung to as a child was only a small part of God’s dream for your future.

I know in my heart that the changes happened slowly – that the dreams shifted gradually. Still, it feels as if I woke up one day and found that I was a completely different woman.

Everything is new in 2012. New job, new vision, new possibilities, new challenges. I’m excited and scared all at once. Excited to see these dreams unfolding, but scared that they won’t work out exactly as I planned. Ecstatic that I’ll soon be a published author, but afraid of the new challenges that will come with this responsibility. Thrilled that God will be there to walk me through this process, but nervous that I won’t always be able to interpret His voice.

I stare at the blank page before me and wonder if I’m crazy for even considering pursuing writing full-time. I can relate to Moses when he asked God, “Who am I?” But the same words God spoke to Moses resound in my heart. “I will be with you.”

On that promise, I pick up my pen and begin to write this new chapter.

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Rebekah Roper

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12/05/2011

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Real.

This morning, I re-read a letter that was written to me when I graduated high school. Though I knew exactly what it said, I still smiled when I got to the final five words that have impacted my life so greatly.

The letter is from my old piano teacher. Old as in, I took lessons when I was only ten, but also old as in, she was in her mid-eighties when she started teaching me. I adored her. In fact, the only reason I kept up with piano for so long was because I wanted an excuse to see her.

So there I was, reading this letter that detailed her memories of what a joy it was to teach me (even though I must have been the most unskilled student she ever had). In the letter, she talks about her life and how much God has blessed her. It’s one of those letters you would expect to end with the words “God has been so good.” But it’s a different five words that flowed from Alberta’s pen.

Jesus has been so real.

I’ve let those words carry me through the times that Jesus felt distant. The times that I’ve found it difficult to see what God was doing. And I’ve let them sing to my spirit in the times that I stand in awe and wonder of the greatness of my God. And I hope that when I’ve lived ninety plus years, they’ll be the first words that come to mind when I think back over my life.

Jesus is real. Wonderfully, powerfully, inexplicably, you-wouldn’t-believe-it real.

And I don’t know where Alberta is now – whether she’s a ninety-five-year-old woman bouncing around a nursing home or if she’s dancing with that very real God of hers – but I know that her words live on in my heart as I pray they’ll live in yours.

May you be reminded of just how real Jesus is today.

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Rebekah Roper

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12/02/2011

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The Waiting Place

If the title of my blog hasn’t clued you in, I hate the word wait. It’s such an inactive, dreary, depressing word. If you’re honest, you’ll most likely agree that it doesn’t stir warm, fuzzy feelings in your heart either.

The other day, I picked up Dr. Seuss’ Oh the Places You’ll Go and got really excited when I got to the part that warns against “The Waiting Place” …where everyone is just waiting.

Waiting for the fish to bite
Or waiting for wind to fly a kite
Or waiting around for Friday night
Or waiting, perhaps, for their Uncle Jake
Or a pot to boil, or a Better Break
Or a string of pearls, or a pair of pants
Or a wig with curls, or Another Chance.
Everyone is just waiting.

And I agree with Dr. Seuss. The Waiting Place is not for you. You’re going to go places. Oh, the Places You’ll Go!

And yes, life will have its ups and downs. Sometimes you’ll fly and sometimes you’ll trudge through the slump. Sometimes you’ll feel you’re on top of the world and sometimes you’ll feel all alone in the dark. But I certainly hope that even when life is at its lowest, darkest, loneliest moments, you’ll never resort to The Waiting Place.

Promise me you won’t be one of those people who “wait” their way through existence. Next time you need a little encouragement to live the journey, refer to Dr. Seuss. He gives some great advice. Trudge through the slump, press through the dark, and, Kid, you’ll move mountains. (98 and ¾ percent guaranteed.)

So… What are you waiting for?

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Rebekah Roper

Posted on

11/28/2011

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Throwing Up on God

I wouldn’t consider myself a particularly sensitive/emotional female, but sometimes I reach this point where there’s so much going on inside of me that I just snap and emotionally throw-up on someone. And that someone is usually God. I don’t mean to do it; it just happens. But I don’t really think He minds.

The greatest thing about throwing up on God is that He doesn’t try to give me answers. I hate venting to someone who feels like they have to calm me down or “fix it” right off. He’s the only person who seems to understand that all I want to do is just release my pent-up frustration.

I think we often feel like it’s not okay to be honest with God. Like it’s not okay to tell Him what’s really going on in our hearts. As if we’ve forgotten that He already knows exactly what we’re thinking and feeling. Maybe it’s the home I was raised in (one that was very open to expressing our emotions), but I don’t see anything wrong with spilling my guts to God.

But maybe, just maybe, you didn’t know it’s okay to tell God how you really feel. Maybe you needed someone to give you permission to throw-up on God. And maybe you needed to be reminded that the very reason Jesus came and died and tore the temple veil is so that you could approach Him with everything – even the emotional throw-up.