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02/19/2011

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I HATE Everything

A friend of mine was telling me about this book she read called I Hate Everything. Sounds like a depressing book, I know. Perhaps if the book cover weren’t decorated with rainbows, unicorns, and penguins, you might actually think the book is dark. In all actuality, Matthew DiBenedetti’s humorous “hatred” of everything brought a little light to my day. But while fun little phrases such as, “I hate that I’m going bald. I hate that I still make fun of bald people. I hate karma.” may be fun, there are a few things I seriously hate. Here are a few:

I HATE that an estimated 2.5 million children are trapped in sexual slavery. I HATE that there isn’t anything I can do about it. I HATE that I’m getting sick just thinking about it.

I HATE that 22% of pregnancies in the U.S. end in abortion. I HATE that there are 22% less people in the world because of it. I HATE that unborn babies don’t have rights in this country.

I HATE that 50% of American marriages end in divorce. I HATE that I’ve had to suffer the consequences of many of those divorces. I HATE that wedding vows don’t mean anything anymore.

I HATE that people tend to get upset over bad haircuts and broken nails more often than the above statistics. I HATE how easy it is for these statistics to become a number rather than a living, breathing human being. I HATE that I’m not moved to mourn over injustice more often.

I HATE that you may have read this blog and not been moved to tears. I HATE that I’m not moved to tears right now. I HATE that our world has become such a dark place that statistics like these aren’t shocking.

But I LOVE that God is big enough to wipe all these tears and drown out all the hate in my life.

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Rebekah Roper

Posted on

02/17/2011

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Fairytale Fallacies

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Five Years and Forever

Sometimes I think I’m the strangest young woman on the planet, or at least the most unusual. But here I am, nearly twenty years old, running from romantic relationships. Sometimes that fact makes me wonder if there’s something wrong with me. Even those women who have accepted their single status seem to yearn for that special someone. Don’t get me wrong. I do yearn for that special someone. Someday. But for now I have embraced the fact that it isn’t time for him yet, and I refuse to let him be the focus of my thoughts. (Except for certain occasions, like as I write this now.)

My coworkers don’t believe me when I insist that, should Prince Charming walk through the doors of my office today, I’d send him right back out. Perhaps if they knew my reasons, they’d be the first to shut the door in his face. What my coworkers don’t realize is that I made a covenant with God several years ago. And a covenant with God is not something to be taken lightly.

It all started with my parents’ decision not to let me date until I was sixteen. Of course, by the time I actually turned sixteen, I had witnessed too many bad high school relationships. That wasn’t going to be my fate. I decided that my high school years must be meant for so much more than a dating relationship. With the encouragement of my mentor, I dedicated five years straight to seeking God alone. Five precious years to cultivate my relationship with Him without the distraction of any other.

Which is where I am today. I can’t believe how much time has passed, how much I’ve fallen in love with Jesus, and how much deeper I’m continuing to press into Him. It’s not like my time with Him is over. My five years are not yet up. But even when they end, though I will hopefully marry and raise a new generation of Jesus-lovers, I know that my covenant remains. I gave Jesus five years to prepare me to love Him forever.

It’s not because I’m unusual (though that’s up for debate); it’s because I’m called. Jesus has drawn me to Himself for such a time as this. For now He is my greatest love, and my greatest love He shall remain… Five years and forever.

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Rebekah Roper

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02/14/2011

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Fairytale Fallacies

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Please Refrain From Throwing Popcorn

I received an invitation to the movies from a friend. Since the event was scheduled for Valentine’s Day, he attempted to make light of “Singles Awareness Day” (which is really interesting because, last time I checked, he wasn’t single). But there he was, encouraging us to invade the movie theaters instead of moping around.

Valentine’s Day has never been more than a Hallmark Holiday for me, so it was easy for me to laugh when my friend asked that our group try not to throw popcorn at the many couples who will be out and about on that day. I don’t think that will be a temptation. For me, anyway.

I know that some girls get borderline depressed on Valentine’s Day, but I personally don’t see the big deal. Valentine’s Day is just a day, same as any other. If you’re single, you’re single; if you’re not, you’re not. The same as you were yesterday. And the day before that. Valentine’s Day changes nothing. Yet so many women choose this day to dwell on their relationship status. They’re either mourning because they aren’t in a relationship, lamenting that they’re in a bad relationship, or shaking their head because their significant other doesn’t seem to realize that this is supposed to be the most romantic day of the year.

In other words… It’s Valentine’s Day. Nobody is happy. But you should be, because this day really isn’t any different from any other day of the year. So get up off the couch, stop listening to sappy love songs while eating the chocolate you had to buy for yourself. Get outside and enjoy the fresh air. Take a walk, go shopping, do something productive. And please refrain from throwing popcorn at the couples in the movie theater. There’s really no reason for you to believe they’re any happier than you are.

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Rebekah Roper

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02/11/2011

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Live the Journey

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The Mediocre

I’ve been reading a novel called Giver of Roses. While I’m still not sure what I think of the book, I do know that this one quote jumped out and hit me square in the chest:

“Always live with a sense that you can be more than you ever thought you could be, for you’ve yet to tap your deepest potential.”

I certainly haven’t been living with that sense lately, and I know I haven’t tapped my deepest potential. In fact, I haven’t even tried. I feel like I’ve slowly let my life slip back into mediocre – a place I never wanted to be. But here I am.

Sometimes I have to force myself back to the fairytales. Back to that place of wonder and magic, fairies and pirates, Princes and dragons and mermaids and dreams. Sometimes my mind must escape to that place far away from reality, because it is my mindset that is keeping me here in the mediocre.

I find it strange that, as a child, all one longs to do is grow up and make your own rules; but once you reach that grown-up world, your heart wishes to escape to the simplicity of childhood. To return to Neverland. If only to escape the mediocre.

I firmly believe that there must be a balance somewhere, though few ever seem to find it. Few live with that sense that we could be more than we ever thought we could be. Few have tapped their deepest potential. I feel as if there is part of my dream that I’ve not even begun to dream. But I want to.

May we always live with the sense that we can be more than we ever dreamed we could be. May we live something far greater than the mediocre.

And how do we get beyond the mediocre, you ask? Well, I can’t be sure, but I’ve heard it’s the second star to the right and straight on ’til morning.

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Rebekah Roper

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02/09/2011

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Fairytale Fallacies

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My Little Phalanx

My dad has a name for my mom. He calls her his little phalanx. Now if you’re unschooled in the battle formations of ancient Greece, that may sound a little strange. In fact, even if you are schooled in Greek battle formations, that may sound like a pretty unusual thing for a man to call his wife. Nonetheless, it is my mother’s name and she loves it.

A phalanx is a tight battle formation that would prevent attacks from behind, allowing the warriors to focus all their energies on what lay directly ahead. They didn’t have to worry about who might be sneaking up from behind because they knew their fellow warriors had their back.

For those of you who are still wondering where I find romance in that statement, allow me to remind you that love is more than that “can’t eat, can’t sleep, reach for the stars, over the fence, world series kind of stuff.” Love is standing in the gap for someone when all your heart feels like doing is retreating. Life is a battle that we must fight to win, and when I think of spending that battle with someone at my side, I want him to be the kind of person who covers my back.

Who named Prince Charming? And what kind of knight can go through battle and emerge with shining armor? I’m telling you to give me a pirate, give me Rambo, give me the little boy who can’t seem to stay out of the mud. I’m looking for the guy in that famous Teddy Roosevelt quote – the one who strives valiantly in the arena, his face marred with dust and sweat and blood. I’m looking for the guy who knows what it is to sacrifice… and is still willing to sacrifice. I want to marry the kind of man who will call me his little phalanx.

He doesn’t have to be charming, and his armor doesn’t have to shine; he simply has to be the kind of man I can happily dedicate the rest of my life to fighting alongside.

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Rebekah Roper

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02/06/2011

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I’m Not Really Single

I’ve been reading Ali Smith’s Entrusting the Key, and found something in there that really touched me. She ended one of her chapters with the words, “If only they knew… I’m not really single.”

I giggled. What a beautifully conveyed truth. It’s like my little secret, just between me and Jesus. To the world, I am a single young woman; but God and I know that I’m His beloved. The Prince of the fairytales and Fulfiller of dreams is mine.

Perhaps I’m simply in a fairytale mood, but I don’t care if the critics say that God is not a substitute for a romantic relationship. Maybe He’s not. And perhaps He wasn’t meant to be. But He is enough.

I realize that today marks six months from the day I began my Beyond Waiting blogging journey. Which means it’s been about eight months since Jesus invited me into this dance (though I feel that I was dancing to this music long before I knew its name). How freeing it is to be Beyond Waiting for Prince Charming, satisfied that Jesus is all I need. Forever. And ever. Like a true fairytale.

Just like in the fairytales, I’ve been enchanted by a Prince who is out of this world. And when my coworkers start talking to me about men and dating, I simply smile because I know something they don’t know…

I’m not really single.

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Rebekah Roper

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02/03/2011

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Matchmaker, matchmaker, please go away!

I was sitting at the lunch table when one of my coworkers voiced, “I know this guy…”

Sometimes I really tire of working at Advancing Native “Marriages.” Strike one. It’s a set-up.

“He’s from Missouri,” my coworker explained.

Strike two. 450 miles from home is far enough, thank you very much.

“He’s a youth pastor, and he needs a wife to straighten him out.”

Strike three, and you’re out! Sorry, slugger, but it appears that baseball is not your sport.

As much as I like the musical Guys and Dolls, I’m not a fan of “marrying the man today and changing his ways tomorrow.” I’m pretty sure it doesn’t work like that. So if you tell me that this potential match needs “straightened out”… See ya. (Oh, and P.S… If the only kind of guy you can come up with needs that much work, please keep your suggestions to yourself.)

People don’t fix people; only God can do that. Even if I was remotely interested in meeting this guy, there is no way I would be able to “straighten him out.” And my guess is that trying to do so would probably result in a pretty miserable relationship.

I’m fully convinced that a woman’s single years are not meant to be spent looking for a man to complete her; they are meant for her to take the time to realize how whole and alive she can be in Jesus. I believe that God gives us these years to learn to depend on Him alone so we can lean on Him throughout the rest of our lives.

I’ll leave it up to God to straighten out my coworker’s young friend. And since He is the only One who can fix the messes we’ve made of our lives, I’ll leave Him to be the only Matchmaker in my love life.

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Rebekah Roper

Posted on

02/02/2011

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Paradoxes and Mysteries

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A God Who Says “Come”

I was always the kind of babysitter who was right in the middle of all the action. I considered my job to be not just watching the kids, but entertaining them as well. I bounced up and down on the trampoline, dressed in all kinds of get-ups, and danced around to the High School Musical soundtrack (which I probably have memorized by now, though I’ve only seen the actual movie once). I have the same approach with the youth group I now help with. I figure that the best way to encourage group participation is not to say, “go,” but “come.”

Let me tell you, I’m glad I serve the kind of God who says, “Come.” What a comfort it is to know that when God calls me to step out, He is not asking me to go alone; He’s inviting me to join Him on the adventure of a lifetime.

“Rebekah,” He says. “Come to Virginia with Me. Leave behind the home you’ve always known, and embark on this amazing journey alongside Me.” And though I told all my friends I was going to Virginia, I was truly following my Beloved into the great unknown.

It was frightening at first, to leave everything I’d ever known and follow God to this place. It’s always a little unnerving when He first guides me into something new. And if He had called me to “go”, it would perhaps have been impossible; but as I’ve already said, my God calls me to “Come” (which is much easier.)

So I encourage you to not be afraid to accept His outstretched hand. The place to where He calls you is not as frightening as it may seem. Not when the Author of Life stands by your side. The next time you hear Him calling, don’t hesitate, and don’t turn away. “My child,” He whispers, “Come.”

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Rebekah Roper

Posted on

01/31/2011

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The Family Puzzle

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Your Delight is Mine

Mom and I had been planning this occasion for weeks, dreaming of the look on Dad’s face when he discovered the surprise.

To make matters really interesting, we made him drive. I kept the directions carefully tucked out of his sight as I instructed him on where to turn. He commented a few times on how long we’d been driving, and asked when we were going to reach this “cool place.”

I was watching Dad’s face the first time he saw the sign reading “Appomattox.” His smile resembled that of a small child who had just been given a new bicycle (but don’t tell him I used that analogy; it’s kind of a sore subject for him.)

My Civil War buff of a father was finally going to visit Appomattox Courthouse – where my mom had been without him. Twice. This was a day to go down in history. Or at least in the guest book at Appomattox Courthouse.

Not much makes me happier than to rejoice in my family’s delight. Sometimes I’m delighted by their delight when they aren’t even around to be delighted. I’ll often find myself smiling and thinking things like, “Lydia would love this.”

That thrill at the thought of their delight is what draws me to the fantasy titles at a bookstore, elicits a smile when Phil Collins comes on the radio, and causes me to stop to look at crazy socks and funky hats. Those aren’t the things that would normally delight me, were it not for the fact that they first delighted another member of my family.

It’s my belief that families should be so intertwined that the victory of one member is the victory of the whole family (and not just because Dad promised we’d get a horse once a certain child was potty-trained). What causes a father to rise to his feet when his son scores the winning shot in a basketball game? It’s because in some inexplicable way, it’s almost as if he himself made that shot.

When Ruth said to Naomi, “Where you go I will go, and where you stay I will stay,” she was speaking with the devotion a daughter should have to her mother. Friends come and friends go, but families are forever. So delight with them, and never forget to delight in them.

Dad signed his name in the guest book larger than John Hancock signed the Declaration of Independence. And somehow it seemed that Appomattox Courthouse was better the second time around. At least, it was for me…

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Rebekah Roper

Posted on

01/28/2011

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The Family Puzzle

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There Were Never Such Devoted Sisters

I held my breath and accepted the phone from my grandma’s outstretched hand. Never had I felt such nervous anticipation. It was as if my entire life hinged on what my mother was about to speak into my ear.

“Are you going to be sad?” Mom asked.

My seven-year-old heart deflated. “It’s a boy?”

“No, it’s a girl.”

And so began the Rebekah/Lydia show.

A sister is perhaps one of the greatest blessings God could ever give a girl. Though there are days it certainly doesn’t feel like that fact is true. After suffering through three brothers, I believed the gift of a sister was the best thing that had ever happened to me. Most days, I still feel that way.

I have to confess that Lydia wasn’t what I had in mind when I asked Jesus for a sister. I can’t play with her hair, she doesn’t like to shop, and most everything I love to do is what she would consider “boring”. At first, I was disappointed, but I now know that I wouldn’t trade her for the world. Lydia has stretched me and grown me in a way no one else ever could. I’ve learned a lot from her. And this may sound funny since I’m the older sister, but I want to be like her when I grow up.

I found that I connected most with Lydia at night. Once the lights were off in the rest of the house and we were supposed to be sound asleep, we’d be whispering back and forth, hoping Mom and Dad couldn’t hear us. Sometimes we would giggle at the silliest things, and other days we would share the intimate things of our hearts.

I don’t believe people when they say they are “just too different” from their sister to befriend her because, if Lydia and I can be seven years apart and differ so drastically, then anyone can be friends with her sister. While our personalities often seem to clash, our hearts are knit of the same fabric. And that is what makes our friendship work.