Interrupted, Redirected, and Fulfilled

I finished a book the other night – a book I never even wanted to write. The book that started this blog. When God called me to this Beyond Waiting journey, I fiercely resisted. In case you don’t know, this girl wanted to be a novelist. Still does want to be a novelist. And here God was asking me to set that aside and pursue a different dream. His dream.

There was arguing, and praying, and begging, and crying, but God won in the end (He always does). Now here I am, a year later, staring at the full manuscript of a book. No gaps, no holes, but a completed (albeit rough) draft of Beyond Waiting. And I’m amazed. I’m amazed that I feel so much pride over something I had no desire to be a part of. I’m amazed that this journey I avoided has become one of the greatest things that ever happened to me. (I’m finding that this tends to happen a lot – the things I spend the most time resisting are the things that become most dear to my heart.)

I sit at the feet of the God who interrupts, redirects, and fulfills my wildest dreams and I weep with the wonder of it all. He has taken this dream I was sure didn’t exist and moved it to the forefront of my life, and now I see that it has been there all along – hidden within the deepest crevices of my heart.

I think that God does this with our lives more often than we care to admit. He sees the dreams we overlook, and He calls them out of His children. I truly believe that God wants to expand your boundaries as He has mine this past year. I believe He is presenting opportunities in your life. Doors for you to step through. Trails for you to blaze. Don’t be afraid to follow wherever the Father calls you. Let Him expand your vision. Allow Him to be the God who interrupts, redirects, and fulfills your wildest dreams. I promise you, you won’t regret it.

A Few Disclaimers

Apparently, I’m pretty skilled at contradicting myself. Or at least appearing to do so. Since my last post caused such a stir, I’d like to take a moment to clarify a few things. The phrase “Boys are icky” is not a personal attack on men, but my simple way of brushing off set-ups. When said with a smile and a wrinkle of the nose, it can be a great way to turn an awkward situation into a roomful of laughter. You should try it sometime.

Though it’s a pretty easy brush-off, being “icky” isn’t necessarily a bad thing in my book. Some of my best friends are guys – icky, gross, wonderful guys whom I love very dearly.

Now that we’ve got that cleared up, let me assure you that “Beyond Waiting” does not mean “Forever Single.” Shortly after I had finished my first draft of Beyond Waiting, one of my coworkers congratulated me on my uncommon commitment to celibacy. I just stared at him blankly before offering an amused smile. I wonder how he would have responded if I would have told him I’m planning on having six kids some day.

I do want to marry. I do dream of Prince Charming. But then I wake up and realize that the day is brimming with possibilities. So I leave Prince Charming in the dream world and resolve to live the moments. One of those moments will one day inevitably involve meeting my future husband, but I can’t ignore the other moments in hopes of embracing that one.

Beyond Waiting is about a season of singleness that God has given every human being as a gift. Some of us stay in that season longer than others, but length isn’t the issue here. The journey of Beyond Waiting is all about your heart.

If God has granted you permission to enter a new stage of life, that’s great, but God asked me for five years and those years are not yet up. So I turn away from the set-ups and fix my eyes on the only One who has the authority to tell me when the time is right.

Boys are Icky

Boys are icky.

That has been my mantra for nearly twenty years now. I use it constantly. One might even say that it’s a Rebekah Snyder original.

Whenever someone asks me about boyfriends or marriage, I just tell them, “Boys are icky.” It’s much easier than launching into an explanation of Beyond Waiting and how God has called me to five years and forever. Of course, it’s also easily misunderstood.

The latest response to my cherished phrase was, “God will change your mindset. And He will change the boys.”

I had to smile because it was a cute answer, but I don’t think God will be changing my mindset because I’m pretty sure He gave it to me. And although I may one day fall in love with one of them, boys will always be “icky” (but that’s okay because girls are icky too).

The thing is, we live in a world that pushes relationships. The message we’ve heard most clearly by the time we’ve reached our teen years is that our lives are not complete without a man… The story doesn’t begin until you’ve found Prince Charming… You are incomplete because you’re missing your “other half.”…  And so the search begins.

Thankfully, I was raised by parents who didn’t buy into that lie and didn’t let me get caught up in it either. My dad was the self-declared king of the He-Man Woman Haters Club during his high school years. He didn’t marry my mom because he needed her to complete him; he was already a complete person. My dad married my mom because he knew it was part of God’s plan for his life. That’s the love story I’m looking to write.

The reason I can say that boys are icky is because I don’t need them to define my security. I’ve come to see myself as God’s perfect creation, whole and complete in Him. I can move Beyond Waiting for icky boys because I’ve already been found by the King of Kings. In Him alone I find my purpose. For Him alone I live and breathe.

(If you were bamboozled by this post, please read my disclaimer.)

Waiting…

The three children bounced on the trampoline, shouting at the ground beneath them. “You can’t hurt us, Satan! God is going to beat you up!”

The youngest of them chimed in. “He would right now, but He’s busy.”

“No, He’s not busy,” her older counterpart corrected. “He’s just waiting.”

Waiting. God is waiting. I wonder what it is He’s waiting for. Why doesn’t He intervene when evil triumphs in our world? Why doesn’t He put an end to the suffering in our midst? Why doesn’t He hurry to vanquish Satan forever? Why does He wait? And why does He insist on making me wait with Him?

I think that’s our biggest problem with God’s periods of waiting. We’re so anxious to rush into things that it bothers us to wait with God. We start to think that if God called us to something, things should start happening now. But still, God waits.

Do you ever think that perhaps God is waiting for you? Do you ever wonder if the reason nothing is happening might be because you haven’t taken the steps to make it happen? I could say that whatever God waits for is really none of my concern… unless He is waiting for me.

Nothing happens on its own. God usually doesn’t drop things into our laps unless we are actively pursuing His will. Once you start moving in the right direction, God no longer has to wait. But if He waits for you and you wait for Him, your dreams will wait along with you.

For this reason, I choose to move Beyond Waiting. I choose to step out into the unknown, believing that God will clear a path before me.

He’s just waiting… But not for long.

I’m Not Really Single

I’ve been reading Ali Smith’s Entrusting the Key, and found something in there that really touched me. She ended one of her chapters with the words, “If only they knew… I’m not really single.”

I giggled. What a beautifully conveyed truth. It’s like my little secret, just between me and Jesus. To the world, I am a single young woman; but God and I know that I’m His beloved. The Prince of the fairytales and Fulfiller of dreams is mine.

Perhaps I’m simply in a fairytale mood, but I don’t care if the critics say that God is not a substitute for a romantic relationship. Maybe He’s not. And perhaps He wasn’t meant to be. But He is enough.

I realize that today marks six months from the day I began my Beyond Waiting blogging journey. Which means it’s been about eight months since Jesus invited me into this dance (though I feel that I was dancing to this music long before I knew its name). How freeing it is to be Beyond Waiting for Prince Charming, satisfied that Jesus is all I need. Forever. And ever. Like a true fairytale.

Just like in the fairytales, I’ve been enchanted by a Prince who is out of this world. And when my coworkers start talking to me about men and dating, I simply smile because I know something they don’t know…

I’m not really single.

The Beginning of Beyond

“Hi, my name is Rebekah” (everybody say, “Hi, Rebekah!”) “and I am done with waiting.” Oh, the liberating feeling that comes with truly believing those words.  If you feel on the verge of giving up waiting yourself, I encourage you to go ahead and let go. This may seem to go against everything you’ve ever heard about the years leading up to marriage, but I honestly don’t believe we were meant to sit around and wait for Prince Charming. Find me a Bible verse that combats that belief, and I’ll consider changing my tune.

Wait. It’s such a negative word. I personally don’t find any joy when someone tells me, “It’s coming. Just wait.” Or how about those words that strike fear into the heart of any young child: “You just wait until your father gets home!” Do you really want to wait for Prince Charming? I came to realize that most young women who are still waiting for their prince to come tend to be pretty miserable. I determined to find out why. I figured that in order to find out why waiting makes a woman miserable, I had to figure out what waiting truly means. Turns out, I was right.

The word “wait” has several meanings actually. Observe: “Do nothing expecting something to happen, stop so somebody can catch up, to be hoping for something or on the lookout for something, to be delayed or ignored for now…” Need I go on? This didn’t paint a very pretty picture for me, and I’m willing to bet it didn’t exactly thrill you either. I want to do something with my life. I want to run toward the dreams I am dreaming. I want more in life than to stare out the window of some God-forsaken tower, praying my prince will come soon. I don’t like to be delayed and ignored. I want to live now.

You may think I sound like a spoiled little brat, but I think I’m onto something here. Allow me to share something that will shake your fairytale-founded foundations: your dreams were not meant for someone else to fulfill. There is a reason you were not born married. There is a purpose for your singleness here and now. And while many of us struggle with this idea (I know because I was there once), my prayer is that you will learn to truly embrace your singleness.

The way I understand it, my knight in shining armor is slaying dragons right now (at least, I certainly hope he is). When the day comes that I can finally call myself “his”, I want to have a better story to tell him than, “Oh, I’ve been waiting…”