The Door of My Heart

In light of my recent announcement that I’m stepping out and pursuing a new dream, a co-worker of mine decided to educate me on the subject of open doors. It’s his personal opinion that God doesn’t open doors. He claims that the doors are always open with the exception of one… the door of our hearts. Now, it’s a great theory, and I would agree that sometimes our hearts are the only door left to open. But that’s not always the case.

Sometimes my heart feels ready before the rest of me is. And sometimes I want to go barging through a door I probably shouldn’t open yet. A look through my journals will prove that I’ve been jiggling the knob on this door for a little over a year now. Trust me, if it wasn’t locked, I’d have gone right through it a long time ago and ended up who-knows-where. But it was locked. Because God knew I needed a little more preparation before starting this new journey.

Maybe the doors in my co-worker’s life are always open, but the doors in mine are definitely closed because God isn’t worried about having to fight with my heart; He’s worried that my heart is going to move sooner than my head.

And maybe there are doors that God has left hanging open, waiting for the day we finally have the courage to step over the threshold. But most doors are left closed until the timing is right, and then there is nothing that could keep you from walking into the great unknown.

“This is the message from the one who is holy and true, the one who has the key of David. What he opens, no one can close; and what he closes, no one can open.” -Revelation 3:7

Sit Down, You’re Rocking the Boat

When I was young, my cousin and I used to sit on a raft in her pool and rock back and forth, back and forth, until we created waves that lapped over the edge of the pool. It terrified me to think that if I were to slip back into the water, I would be in over my head. I hated water. I still do. But something about the waves we created fascinated me enough to make me keep rocking back and forth, back and forth.

You know what else is both terrifying and fascinating at the same time? God’s call on each of our lives.

I think back to a time that Jesus played with water, perhaps similarly  to how my cousin and I did when we were young. Only He was walking in the middle of a storm-tossed sea when He invited Peter out to play with Him. I wonder what was going through Peter’s head when Jesus told Him he really could climb out of the boat. Did he think he would drown? Did he know he would sink?

I wonder if the other disciples thought Peter was crazy for even considering jumping overboard. Didn’t he know it was safer in the boat? Didn’t he know he could drown?

Of course he knew. Of course he was afraid – probably even terrified. But Peter saw what so many of us fail to see through our fears. He saw that there was something better out there. He saw the thrill of walking on water. He saw that the risk was worth it. He saw Jesus beckoning him to play in the waves. And for a few, shaky steps, Peter lived the dream that the rest of the disciples merely dreamed because, unlike the rest of them, he faced his fears and took the risk.

Today I encourage you to rock the boat, make some waves, and take a step of faith, knowing that the One who called you is faithful to fulfill His promises.

Remember, you can live your dream, or die dreaming. As for me, I choose to live.

Being Led by Needs

Today I was slapped in the face by a ministry update I was reading. It talked of being led by needs rather than calling, and how easy it is to let those needs drive us. The reason it hit me so hard is because I’ve recently realized that I do a whole lot of stuff that needs to be done, but is not what I need to be doing. And I feel like God has been saying to me, “Hey, Rebekah, stop living someone else’s life and just live how I’ve called you to live, already!”

But these needs drive me. They’ve driven me for a long time. It’s easy to think that responding to needs is the right thing to do. But it isn’t. Not always.

As my partner in ministry pointed out in his letter: “Lazarus was dead. He needed life. Jesus had life. Jesus didn’t go. I would have gone!!!

I would have gone too. Because going is what I do. I go and go and go until I can’t go any farther, and as I lay there panting for breath, God says, “Now will you listen?”

It’s not about the needs; it’s about the call. Even good things can be bad things when they’re not the right things. And sometimes you have to let Lazarus die so a greater purpose can be revealed.

Does it hurt? Oh, yeah. Jesus wept when Lazarus was still in the tomb, and He knew the miracle that was about to occur. I’m stepping out on a limb here, trusting, hoping, praying everything will work out in the end. There’s faith, but not certainty. Trust, but not stability. And that’s okay. Because there is certainty and stability in the fact that I’m being called. And though I can’t see where my next step is going to land, I’m taking the step regardless. And I’m letting myself be led by the call, rather than the needs I see around me.

So Much More Than a Haircut

I didn’t feel like doing much of anything yesterday. I went to church, but was planning to come home and spend the whole afternoon locked in my room by myself. It would be absolutely beautiful. But then I noticed my hair. It had needed cut for a while, but I kept finding reasons to postpone it. Yesterday I was out of reasons… except for the reason that said I just wanted to go home and could get a haircut any other day. But still, the question lingered: To cut or not to cut? As you’ve probably guessed, I opted for “to cut.”

It was the same old walk-in haircut at the same old salon I’ve gone to since moving to this town (What can I say? I’m a creature of habit). But this time, it was completely different. This time, it wasn’t about the haircut. It was about the divine appointment God was about to make.

Her name was Kristin and she loves Jesus. And, boy, was she excited when she found out that I love Jesus too.  See, Kristin is currently the only believer in her salon, and she hates missing church on Sundays. For the entire half an hour it took her to finish my haircut, we talked about our greatest passion – Jesus. And I didn’t just walk out of that salon with a new haircut; I left with a new friend. And you can bet that I’m never going to have any old walk-in haircut again. I’m going to be dropping her name.

And to think that I almost missed it. That I almost decided against getting the haircut yesterday. To think that I nearly missed that divine appointment that God had ordained for the two of us.

Next time you get one of those thoughts that go against your instant desire, I’d challenge you to think about it. Who knows what divine appointment could be waiting for you in the midst of those little interruptions? It might just be so much more than a haircut.

Into the Darkness

A Voice calls us out,

beyond the well-lit path

into the darkness.

We follow, trembling,

or trembling stay behind.

But whether we heed the call and launch into the dim unknown

or cling to the familiar,

we are changed.

~Penelope Stokes

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It’s been a few years since I first read these words, and I’ve reread them several times since. But they’ve never impacted me quite as deeply as they do now. This time they are more than an inspiring little poem. This time they are the Voice that calls me out. And, yes, I’m trembling.

There’s something soothing in the well-lit path, even though I may not like where the path is leading. At least I can see what’s coming. At least I feel some semblance of control. I can’t say that about the uncertainty of the darkness.

But here the Voice calls me, telling me that I don’t belong on the well-lit path anymore. Telling me it’s time to blaze a new trail. And here I stand, trembling – unsure as to whether I should really launch into the dim unknown or cling to the familiar. But I am certain of one thing: no matter what my choice may be, change is coming.

So I stand here and wonder what awaits me in the darkness. I say that I’m waiting for clear direction. I claim that I’m being wise. But am I? Or am I just so lacking in faith that I won’t take that first step even when I know that I know that God’s calling me? And I wonder if this is really the time to “be wise” or the time to step out of the boat and start walking on water.

Here I am, trembling, praying, and waiting for the courage to take the first step.

Mere Existence

There’s a big difference, you know, between living and existing. I think that if you were to ask anyone, they would tell you that they want to live. But how easily we fall into that horrible thing called “existence.” How often we simply trudge through the mundane. And how sad it is that we need a reminder to live and not merely exist.

Today I present you with the wake-up call I need on a daily basis. Here’s your reminder to step outside your mere existence and truly start living.

New Life

“I could go running, and racing, and dancing, and chasing, and leaping, and bounding, hair flying, heart pounding, and splashing, and reeling, and finally feeling – now’s when my life begins!”

That song from Disney’s Tangled came to my mind as I danced down the road the other night. Yes, you read that right – danced. What started out as a brisk walk on a perfect autumn evening turned into a wonder-struck worship-fest complete with singing and twirling and running and giggling… There was even a cartwheel or two thrown in there.

Anyone who may have been looking out their window at the moment probably thought I was completely insane – and maybe they’re right – but I honestly didn’t care who might be watching. When Jesus gets a hold of your heart like that, nothing else matters.

When Jesus came and walked the earth, He said, “The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.” (John 10:10) As I danced down the road the other night, all the chaos from earlier that day fell away and I felt myself being infused with new life.

It’s amazing how easily we fall into the mundane routine of life. Incredible how easy it is to forget that we were meant for so much more than sitting in a tower like Rapunzel did for most of her life.

Then Jesus shows up again, inviting us to dance with reckless abandon. And “for like the first time ever I’m completely free… feeling now’s when my life begins.”

A Lively Tune

“A lively tune. I’m inspired to dance.”

That quote from The Three Musketeers has always, well, inspired me, but never more so than when my mom used it as a closing in a letter to her somewhat dejected daughter. Today I just want to leave you with the same words my mother left me:

May you always be the first to hear a lively tune and be inspired to dance.

Perfect Timing

Ever have something come at just the right time? Life is starting to become overwhelming and you’ve had just about all you can take, then a friend brings you flowers to brighten your day. You’ve been wishing that God was real enough to hug you, then He sends someone else to hug you in His place. You’re starting to think that maybe God has abandoned you altogether,  then you flip open your Bible and read a passage that speaks directly into your situation. I’m used to being the recipient of God’s little blessings, but I’m absolutely floored when He chooses to use me to be that for someone else.

My last post wasn’t supposed to go out until today. I knew that I would be super busy over the weekend, so I tried  to schedule a post ahead of time. But I accidentally hit “publish”. And once you hit “publish”, there is no getting a post back. At first I was irritated. That post was supposed to buy me some time so I could rest after a crazy weekend. But then I got a report that made me realize that blog was posted in perfect timing. The reason the post published against my will was because it wasn’t a message meant for Monday; it was needed Friday. Had I waited until today to post it, it may have been too late. And someone else may have had a weekend that was even crazier than mine was.

Isn’t it funny how the little things that don’t make sense to us can also be the big things that mean the world to someone else? And isn’t it wonderful that God can take our mistakes and use them as a blessing in someone else’s life?

“And now at just the right time he has revealed this message, which we announce to everyone. It is by the command of God our Savior that I have been entrusted with this work for him.” -Titus 1:3

More Beautiful Things

I remember walking the beach as a child, searching for beautiful treasures that washed in with the tide. In my young mind, every seashell was a beauty. Sometimes, if I was really lucky, I would find one that was nearly two inches in diameter! They were the biggest I ever found, and I considered them huge simply because I didn’t know any better.

I laugh at that childish viewpoint now. Having a friend with a house on a gated island has really expanded my vision (and spoiled me for good). Now I find sand dollars and sea urchins, stingrays and their less-intimidating relatives – the skate. I’ve stood on a bridge and watched dolphins dance in the harbor beneath me. I’ve witnessed tiny sea turtles scurrying toward the sea. All these things my childish mind could never conceive.

Those two-inch shells I found with wide eyes don’t even capture my attention anymore. I know there are more beautiful things in the sea.

I imagine God laughing at me now as I laugh at the memory of myself as a child. “Oh Rebekah,” He says, “if you only knew the things I have in store for you, maybe you wouldn’t be so distracted by such frivolous things.”

And just like that, I sense an awakening. There are more beautiful things in the sea. And as I watch the waves of my life rush in and out, in and out, I wait in expectation for the glorious things God has prepared for me.